We've created a monster...

Though I have no photographic evidence of the following, I am afraid it is true. In a moment of weakness, and in the midst of a nasty head cold, Mike and I put the movie "Cars" on for Milo a couple ofnights ago to assuage a particularly bratty moment before bed. We already knew he liked it because he stared transfixed and made car noises while watching it at Jake's house. And it worked: he settled down, even snuggled in, and sat peacefully next to our lethargic selves for a blessed few minutes before bed that night.

But now the beast has been unleashed. I realized after a few frustrating "conversations" with Milo, that "'ning" means "Lightning" aka the main character in "Cars," and he now demands that it plays most of the time, pleading "'Ning, 'Ning!" while pointing at the TV. In the beginning, not going to lie, I pretended like I didn't know what he was talking about, and truth be told, I didn't, but then even when I figured it out, I still plead ignorance. But my inadequacies in deciphering his vernacular did not bode well with my 1-year-old.

We try to keep him away from the TV, he has plenty of mind stretching toys and books, and

most of the time, he wouldn't care one way or the other if the TV was on or not. But now Pandora's box is open. What is the best balance between nerdy book but potentially socially inept kid, and over stimulated but culturally relevant kid? Eh...

In the meantime, here are some cute, pics, nothing from the past week; unfortunately I have

misplaced my camera case, and with it our attachment which allows us to download pictures from the camera, so deal with these in the meantime...

What do you do when your 1-year-old is manipulating you at 4am? Laugh...

Ah the stories of parenthood. While spending the night at Grammie and TomTom's recently, Milo and I spent a painful night. I'm fighting an annoying head cold, and he's going thru a waking up in the middle of the night thing that we're all having a tough time kicking. I think we've started a couple of bad habits with good intentions, but as my college roommate Heidi's dear Grandma Norma always used to say, "the road to hell is paved with good intentions."

He had woken up a couple times earlier, but had gone back to sleep on his own, but at about 4am, he started asking for his "bot-too" or bottle. I got up and pointed out that he had his bottle (bottle of water) in his bed, and tried to hand it too him. "No no no," he says, waving it away, "Bot-too!!" I again try and explain to him that he has his bottle. "Pleez mum pleez! Bot-too! Bot-too!" Now he's kinda crying and being overdramatic and I'm getting a little irritated. I mostly like it that he now has enough words to communicate a bit more effectively, but sometimes it also drives me a little crazy. He starts pointing to the dresser where I had left out a bottle with some formula in the bottom and a bottle of water to mix if needed. The kid recognizes that this bottle offers something far better than the bottle of water in his bed, points, and emphasizes "pleez mum pleez mum! Bot-too, BOT-TOO!!" I couldn't help it, I laughed. He's so much smarter than we give him credit for, and though this was falling right back into the habit we were trying to break, I mixed the formula, and chuckling, gave it to him. He grinned, like "finally, she got it!" and said happily, "bot-too!"

I quit...

So I started a new gmail account when we moved here, mostly because James was making fun of me for not having one so he could message with me during our at-home-parenting moments, and without really thinking about it I chose "meg on the edge." I just felt like this, maybe more than any other time in my life, was going to be a great season of change. I'm on the edge of all kinds of new things, new geography and thus new people, new role in life, new schedule, new perception of our future as a family.

And as I went into this season, almost fully knowing but not really recognizing, I've tried to hold on to things that are easy and comfortable for me, some things, like my friends in MN, my hobbies, etc, all good things. But I found I also tried to hold on part-time to my old job, but not even really my old job, a fraction of my old job in a different store, with completely different people. I put all the right labels on it, I was doing this for my social benefit, to keep me getting out of the house, for adult conversation. But I think when it came right down to it, I was scared to let go of so much of what I was familiar with, so much of what defined me for so long, even though I fought the actual job label, the people I worked with were the people I spent all my time with, the people who took care of my kid, and again, not that any of that was bad, in fact, I consider myself to have been extremely lucky to have landed where I did when I did. That job supplied me and Milo with fantastic health insurance when it was way too expensive to be on Mike's. Again, I met some dear, dear kindred spirits who I will always carry with me as my friends and extended family. And a steady paycheck and benefits while we were paying out for Mike to be in school.

And now I don't need those things. Or at least, I don't need them to be supplied by my employer. I've been working, fighting to work, at one of the stores here, not connecting with any of the leadership on staff, and feeling really under-appreciated, even unwanted, most of the time I was there. I realized that I didn't have to and don't want to be there anymore. And I quit. I have never not worked, since I was 15 years old, I have had some sort of job or other, and I find myself a little lost, but feeling so totally free all at the same time. My last day is Saturday, and I'm already looking forward for that day to be over. That's got to be a good sign. I'm reaching out to a few connections I've made here for my social life, so I'm not desolate there, in fact I feel really good about the handful of people who I think will grow into friends. I'm doing some training next week for some volunteer opportunities, and Milo and I are finding all kinds of things to keep us out of trouble. Mike and I have joined a gym with a daycare so I can get out of the house and even drop Milo off if I need to for some alone time. I think we're covering all my bases.

I still feel like I'm on the edge, facing this slightly scary precipice, not knowing what I will find below, but I feel like I'm finally making the right decisions. I think it was important for me to work here so that now I can feel like I don't have to work here; this has all been part of the journey, but now I let go of almost everything familiar, and Mike, Milo, and I really make a go of this "real" life.

Little ones air show...

So I signed up for this online mommy's group (thanks James!),and they've had some fun stuff posted for families to do. This past weekend, Milo, Mike and I ventured into Michigan to this air show of all remote control planesand helicopters. If we haven't told you thisrecently, Milo's kinda big into planes, so this was pretty awesome. And it was an eventpurely for little kids, so yeah, the big boys were there flying theplanes, but doing all kinds of fun tricks, and they had all the planes lined up most of the time for people to look at. One guy, as I was trying to get some pictures that Milo might dig on his wall, even pulled his plane back out of his truck for us to oogle and take pictures of.

It was pretty windy and chilly, and it rained a little bit, but it was well worth it! Milo spent most of the time saying, "plane, plane, plane...?" And I'm not sure if he would admit it, but I happen to know that Mike kind of loved it

too. He was kinda bummed that we didn't s

tay long enough to see the double engine plane go up :)

This week the mommy site has a pumpkin patch/corn maze outing. And I think we'll have to check it out!