Milo and Jude's Excellent Adventure: Days 1 & 2...

As many of you may know since we saw so many of you over the past 4+ weeks, me and the boys took off on a grand adventure to see most of the country and our loved ones who are spread out far and wide.  I didn't really have the time or energy to keep blogging while we were on the road, so I'll try and summarize here for the boys to read back thru when they're older.

Day 1: our biggest day driving, Cary, NC to Westerville, OH to visit the Cotters.  We left at about noon on Friday, July 13 for this 490 mile leg of the journey.  The boys were pretty much troopers the vast majority of the day.  We made stops for nursing Jude, gas & potty breaks, and to stretch our legs.  I had packed healthy snacks for us to avoid having to try and handle 2 kids in restaurants, and this worked great. When we did stop, I spread out a blanket on whatever grassy nook we could find at the gas station or rest area where we stopped, and we ate and stretched and enjoyed the beautiful day.  Until about the 9th hour.  Literally.  Both boys decided they had had enough and took turns screaming, Milo while holding his hands over his ears yelling at me to "Give him his plug!  Give him his nook!!"  Fortunately, we only had about an hour left, so after trying whatever I could, I just let them yell.

Things that I learned on this leg of the trip:  plan as best as you can, and then roll with it.  Sometimes an infant just doesn't want to nurse in the car, and with kid #2 I care less and less about whipping them out sitting outside.  With screaming kids, and this seems counter-intuitive, but thanks to a tip from Kate I tried this and it did eventually work, pump up some music.  This helps to drown out their howling so mom doesn't go crazy, and it actually seems to give them something to listen to so they often stop screaming.  With Jude, he finally went to sleep with Alison Krause and Robert Plante blasting.  And only stay with friends at this stage in life who won't judge you.



And with this last statement I give a huge shout out to Em, Logan, and Drew who put up with me, Milo, and Jude for about 36 hours.  Even though I was a crazy single parent post 11 hours in the car, they graciously hosted us, shared meals with us, Logan even let Milo take turns with Drew jumping all over him in the pool.  Drew was quite infatuated with Jude, as he apparently is with all babies.  Here's a great pick of him giving Jude his nook :)  Em and I chatted during naps or when boys were playing nicely, and I continue to be grateful for this renewed friendship.  Em and I really have gotten re-aquainted as adults since knowing each other as kids our whole lives.  When we moved to Toledo, we took turns hauling our boys back and forth, and I love her now more than I ever have.  She is a beautiful, wise, gentle, hilarious, and godly woman that I'm so thankful to know.

Space school...

In honor of Milo's love of space right now, and for his 3rd birthday party:  

Before...

And after... (filled with goodies and ready to be whacked!) 

Milo's new favorite thing...

Happy Jude...

Visitors...

Though most of our family doesn't live within 4 states of us, they're all pretty great travelers, which means we got lots of visitors after Jude was born:  Kris and Tom (Grammie and TomTom), Steph and Larry (Nana and Booka), Kristi, Jason, and Collin (Mike's sister, husband, and their 2yo son), Mandy and Allie (my oldest sister and her youngest at about 4 mod), and Heather (my next older sister).  All of them were very gracious visitors, overlooking any mess or uncleanliness, and super helpful to the over-tired new parents :)  Here are some fun snapshots of the gang, not in the right order:

Getting some vitamin D with Grammie :)

 TomTom is thumbs up!

 Knowing Nana's voice...

 That Booka's a funny guy!

 Hanging with cousin Allie; so close in age, only about 4 months apart.

 Auntie Kristi with all the boys! Nice smarmy smile, Milo, jeez.

 Snugglin' with Uncle Jason.

 That's all of us (Mike's taking the picture) at Pullen Park, riding the train.  Jude's even there in the Bjorn with me.

 Riding the carousel at Pullen Park with Nana...

 ...and Kristi and Collin.

 We hate our deck, can you tell?  Every other picture is out there :)  Steph and Kristi with my boys.

 Climbing on a caboose with Auntie Heather!

Sorry Jude, you were stuck in the stroller for this one...

On being potty wise...

I think there is a credible book with this same title, but I'm learning that with Milo, we're a trial-and-error type of family.  He's not potty trained yet, but we're having some success, but I'd really like to tell you about how our reward system has come about.

Mike and I agreed that we just wanted this to be a positive experience for Milo, no guilt, no yelling, no frustration, just as much encouragement as we could muster.  We let him pick out his own potty, we got the stickers, he picked out his own underwear, and as people told us rewards worked for them, Milo seemed interested in M&Ms.  Perfect, I had a bunch of mini-M&Ms in the cupboard from baking.  The first couple of times, we got him to sit on his potty, but no action.  Then a success.  Then failures.  Then another success, and with it I produced the promised chocolate bits.  As I was giving them to him, Milo said he wanted to flush them down the toilet.  Uh, buddy, you can eat these, they're chocolate, you like chocolate, remember?  No, I just want to flush them down the potty.  Uh, are you sure, they're very tasty? Just want to flush them down the potty.  Okay.  And down they went, and he seemed equally pleased with himself as if he had gotten to eat them.  Only problem, then he wanted to know where they went.  Sorry kiddo, they're gone.  And since then, M&Ms weren't enticing at all.  But marshmallows, that's the way to get that kid to pee on command.

Gold medal in the family :)

I know him as Dad, my boys know him as TomTom, you all probably just know him as Tom, but as of last week, he is a gold medalist.  I know, the Olympics haven't started yet, different arena.  Not sure if most of you know this or not, but my dad's a pretty smart guy.  Recently a product that he's been leading the development of won a pretty significant and prestigious award in the biomedical community that you can read about here.  There's even a fun little video of dad describing it on King's website so you can learn a little more about his life with the video laryngoscope.  He doesn't always get much recognition in his circles, so here's a shout out on this meager stage to one of the best men I know.  Dad, I'm so proud of you!  And if I could tell the world how great you are, not only at your paying gig, but in day-to-day life, I would, but this will have to suffice for now.  Love you!  

Things of note regarding Jude...

Some things I want to remember about Jude from these first couple of weeks:

 -His nose is not quite symmetrical; not sure if he's going to grow out of this or not, so I want to remember that
-He's a super traveler already. We drove about 3 1/2 hours to Kastrounis' in VA this weekend, and he slept the whole way both ways
-He'll sleep any time, any where: Monster Truck show, Navy jets flying over head, brother screaming in the room, Dad playing loud music, whatever, he seems unfazed
-He really likes to be awake between the hours of 3-5am; after feeding in this time, he is bright eyed and bushy tailed, much to my chagrin
-He's not a big crier unless really provoked, aka really hungry, swaddled esp. tightly by Dad, etc. Instead he wuffles, grunts, coos, and sighs, and depending upon the urgency of these noises indicates his mood. Not gonna lie, I don't miss crying, esp. at night. I also think this will mean a higher likelihood of success when we try to put Jude in the crib in Milo's room. Yup, they're going to share a room if we can make it work; Milo's a good sleeper, and Jude isn't making much noise so far.
-He has this beautiful, smooth, dark hair that kinda swirls on his head and down his cheeks into little sideburns I hope that this laid-back attitude with life sticks with him, and whether it's his nature or Mike and I being a bit more confident, I hope he stays flexible. Maybe not doormat-ish, but flexible.

New addition...

Good Grief!!

Our super neighbors have struck again! I think I mentioned in our last post about the garden and such that our neighbors to the south of us, specifically Tom and his son Chris who lives 2 doors down, have been taking care of our lawn since it started growing this spring. We tried to pay them, tell them we can do it, though we haven't exactly procured a lawn mower yet. Mike's usually working or asleep when all this happens, and in my current condition, aka that of a whale, haven't felt like I could go try and take over the mower.

Finally, today, Mike was home and awake, and we heard the roar of Tom's mower. Mike jumped up and leaving a pleading son behind, who really wanted to go help Daddy and Mr. Tom, and went to see what kind of partnership Tom was willing to deal. I placated Milo, explaining that when he got a little big, Daddy would definitely let him help mow the lawn. Mike took over on the push mower, and Tom went to get the riding mower. And Milo and I sat on the deck, Milo shouting encouraging things and checking to see how everyone was feeling today. Seems like all was working quite nicely, hopefully cutting Tom's time down, and Mike gratefully participating. After all the major mowing was done, Tom pulled up and asked discreetly if Milo would like to take a ride, and I only grinned. Milo, do you want to take a ride on Mr. Tom's tractor? YEAH!! Yes please? YES PLEASE!!! And away they went, around and around, to the front yard and back plenty of times. Tom even let Milo steer for a bit, and every time they rounded the house, Milo's face about busted with the huge grin plastered on it.

Thanks, Tom. Thanks for being so humbly helpful, for making us feel like part of your family, and for loving our kid like he's your own grandson!

Friday the 13th...

Tomorrow is Mike's birthday. He's a tricky one because he's not really a gift person, and I love to give gifts. Not that he doesn't appreciate them, it's just not what really gets to him. Plus this year, he really wanted a new grill, so we splurged on a really nice one, and we're calling that his birthday present, though arguably we're all going to benefit profusely from his birthday present.

And though I'd love to take Milo shopping and have him pick something out for Mike, as you'll see, his tastes are very limited and a bit selfishly motivated. So Mike, this post is for you.

We've had our ups and our downs, but the past few months have been great. Maybe it's the new baby, maybe it's your new job and the new location, I don't know, but you've shown yourself well. You do all the ugly jobs that I really don't want to do, the trash, the cat box, cleaning out the tube on the vacuum when it gets clogged. You change nasty diapers without batting an eye, well you do inform me how many wipes it required, but that's a helpful measuring tool :) You don't make me feel bad when I snore so loud that you don't get your nap. You're working so hard at your job, making sure we're taken care of, you're taking better care of yourself than you ever have, making sure we'll be taken care of for a very long time. And our kid becomes more and more enamored with you with each passing day. Yeah, he's a momma's boy, but daddy's more fun, more likely to get down and play, more likely to be suckered into giving him what he wants, but still snuggly.

This one's for you, Daddy. We love you.

If this is southern hospitality...

When we moved into our rental house in NC in November, we were immediately welcomed by all our neighbors. Literally within moments of the moving van pulling into the driveway, we had Roger from across the street over to say hi and introduce himself. Following within the next few hours were Ethelyn who lives next door, her son Chris who lives two houses down, Sue and Dave who live across the street, and Ned from next door on the other side made friends with my mom, giving her helpful hints with the crazy roads in our town.

And really it hasn't changed. Periodically, Sue comes over with a new batch of books that her daughter has found or cleaned out, always perfect for Milo. Roger's family, his wife Norita and their daughter Marcie always watch out for us when we're gone, pulling our garbage cans back or helping us figure out the recycling schedule. Ethelyn and Tom, who watch their grandson Christian who's just a little older than Milo, come find us on a regular basis, show us great parks, take us to the best Christmas lights, bring me cut flowers from their lawn, and invite and escort us to their church functions. And Ned and his wife Lisa, who put up quite the impressive Christmas light display, are a wealth of information on the area, BBQs, and all-around nice folks who love on Milo like nobody's business. And both Ned & Lisa and Tom & Ethelyn have seriously talked to us about being back-up plans for us if I go into labor early to take care of Milo. The crazy thing is, I know they're serious. We've known these people about 5 months, and they want to be our "family" when we expand in the next couple of weeks.

But the ante has been upped. I'm not sure if they're all taking pity on us because I'm getting so huge or because of Mike's crazy work schedule, but I have been flabbergasted a few times recently by their generosity and giving. Tom from next door has now taken to mowing our lawn, which usually also includes blowing off our driveway and front steps. And he just waves it off whenever we try to thank him, though he has taken a few frosty ones from Mike; Mike's gone with Tom and Chris to their church's Pub Ministry a couple of times :) Ethelyn and Tom also took Milo, along with their 2 grandkids to the park one morning when I had a doctor's appointment. Then Ethelyn shows up the other day with this perfect mint plant, telling me that hers is growing out of control and would I please take some.

In and amongst this, Ned shows up one afternoon offering to use his rototill to get us a little garden going, saying that a few years back, one of the families that lived in this house had one over by the deck. I tried to say not to worry about us, but he was very persuasive, and deep down, I think he knew I wanted it. So he convinced me, and about 10 minutes later he's got a couple of rows plowed for us. I chatted with him for a bit about what we might try to grow, and what Milo and I had some success with in Toledo. And then I thanked him profusely. This weekend, Ned, Lisa, and their 2 adult daughters were out planting their gardens, and Lisa yells over the fence that they'll be over to plant ours in a few minutes. What?!? They start to tell me that they got a better deal on their plants by buying a few extra for us! Ned even remembered what kind of tomatoes I said that I liked! So the four of them came over and planted our garden for us, even working with Milo a bit to get him in the dirt. Then Lisa disappears for a minute and comes back with this pig watering can for Milo, which is now one of his favorite things, and he pretty much wants to water anything and everything every day with it.

Kate and I frequently joke that our main motivating emotion in life is guilt, and I have to admit, I do feel guilty. Guilty that I have hardly anything to offer these beautiful people. Guilty that maybe I'm not grateful enough. Guilty for taking so much generosity. And yet they keep on giving, saying things like they're glad that we're here; apparently the last few renters haven't been the cream of the crop, but not like Mike and I are so fantastic, we're just not criminals :) I guess this is one of those times when I'll have to follow some more good advice from sweet Amy J, "take what you need, give what you can," and just find some ways to give back to these marvelously generous people.

Simple things = Great evening...

Mike's working nights, I'm feeling large and rotund, and Milo and I have to find ways to A) enjoy the great weather here in NC, B) burn some energy in his little 2.5yo body, C) not make mommy move too much or wear on her frayed hormonal nerves, and D) do all of the above while not waking daddy. Tonight was great success.

After naps, me and Milo, we said goodnight to Mike, packed the bare essentials, diapers, water, wipes, cars, and headed out. Hit the McDonald's drive-thru for nuggets, fries, burger, and Shamrock shake. Don't judge me, I'm pregnant, and the kid ate asparagus in his eggs for breakfast, so we both earned a little treat. We drove just a little farther down the road to a great park that we've frequented a bit recently, and for the next 2 hours, I found places to perch, and Milo played his heart out. He found a couple kids to buddy with for short periods of time, but mostly moved from one activity to the next, and I followed slowly behind.

I really like this park for most things, though not ideal for playdates because inevitably kids want to do all different activities at all different times which means no really chatting time for us parents, but when it's just me and Milo or me, Mike, and Milo, it's perfect; pretty much fenced in, lots of things to do, enough space but not too much, and even a great path to walk if the playground gets too busy. I'm learning the fine balance of knowing where my kid is but not hovering, letting him try things I'm not sure he can do but being there if he asks for help, and chatting with random adults close by. I've actually met a couple of great moms this way and hung out with them again, and a couple of people that I might not need to talk to again, but it's adult conversation, and my introverted self is not winning and turning me into a hermit.

Schroeder cousin time...

A few weeks ago now, M cubed got to hit the beach, VA Beach that is, with the Kastrounis clan. Nice time of romping with the boys, hanging out with Kristi and Jason, and just some QT. Nice to be so close to them these days, we look forward to more weekends of cousin time!

The park was closed...

On Monday, we were all in a little bit of a funk and decided a little sun would do us good. It was a little chilly out by our standards, downright frigid by NC, but definitely doable. Packed a picnic, and decided to venture a little farther from home to Pullen Park in Raleigh. It's a magical place that our neighbors shared with us one gorgeous Saturday, and as to be expected on a gorgeous Saturday, kinda crazy. But we still got to ride the carousel and the train.

Monday we pulled up to an almost empty parking lot. At first we blamed the chill in the air, but then we noticed some construction tape over various areas of the playground. We decided we'd still check it out. Future reference, they're "closed" on Mondays, which basically means the train, carousel, and the little cafe are all closed, and therefore they do various maintenance work. This actually ended up being great for us; we had free run of most of the place with great sidewalks around a little pond and over bridges. We fed the ducks and several kinds of geese; I came unprepared, but we've discovered most water fowl love goldfish crackers, and fortunately Milo's open to sharing with them. Then, because the train wasn't running, Mike and Milo took a little walk along the tracks, which Milo really likes to do since sharing this pastime with TomTom, but he usually can't because these little trains rattle through pretty quickly and suddenly. And then to top it off, the guys working on the grounds were lunching as we were leaving, and as Milo oogled all their great equipment, one of the fatherly souls asked him if he wanted to sit on the little mini-loader truck they had parked by our car. Milo's yes! was shortly followed by a string of request to sit on all the other pieces of equipment. He might appear shy at first, but give a mouse a cookie or let Milo sit on one truck, and he'll ask to sit on all of them!

We might hit Pullen Park on a Monday again. Next time on purpose.

Frogs in my bed!

Mike here. Just wanted to document recent events for posterity.

Lately, Milo has been getting up in the middle night and coming to our room with a reoccurring nightmare. He says there are frogs in his bed. There has been a few times that we have heard him shriek in the middle of the night. Meg was telling me as I was starting my job in NC, Milo had a few of these similar nightmares in Toledo and he was inconsolable. Recently, he has been calmly walking into our room and informing us at 400am that there are frogs in his bed. We usually are able to scare the frogs away and put him back to bed.

It is sorta interesting because he is not inherently afraid of frogs themselves. Meg and Milo recently went to the natural history museum in Raleigh, and they had a reptile and amphibian display which included frogs. Milo apparently touched and handled every one of the animals they had on display. Also, our neighbors in Toledo had some concrete sculptures on their porch that were frogs doing human activities, such as reading a paper or smoking a pipe. Milo would often talk to the sculptures when he passed by them, and would offer them his favorite cars.

The other funny thing is the other day he woke up from a nap and told me there was fish in his bed. I asked which fish were in his bed, and he told me an anglerfish and a pufferfish was in his bed looking at him. I don't know if you have seen pictures of either, but both species are pretty freaky looking to me. I asked him if he was scared, but Milo told me they were friendly anglerfishes and pufferfishes, and they weren't bothering him.

Associations...

As mentioned in the last entry, Milo's getting pretty good at making connections with random things in his life. This morning he was in fine form...

We're back in the habit of going to the library for new books, and Milo picked a good one, called "Toot, toot, zoom" about a fox named Pierre who drives his little red car over a mountain to find a friend, and in the process picks up a goat, sheep, and bear who all end up being his friends. While I was dealing with my own mountain of dishes this morning, Milo had picked out a little red wooden car and was "toot, toot, zoom!"ing it around the kitchen floor. I turned and asked him what he was doing, and he said "it's the little red car like in "toot, toot, zoom!"

Then he went to his train table for a bit. One of his new favorite items is a suspension bridge, and after catching a little bit of a cartoon about the Golden Gate Bridge the other day, I asked him what his bridge looked like, and we talked about the Golden Gate Bridge on Little Einsteins. Little Einsteins is kinda hoity-toity for a cartoon, if you ask me, using classical music, famous art work, and landmarks from around the world, but after this conversation, I have new respect. I asked Milo if he knew where the Golden Gate Bridge was, and he said, "by Coit Tower." What? What's Coit Tower? "It's by the Golden Gate Bridge." Eh? Over to the computer, and as I'm sure any of you more familiar with San Francisco than me know, Coit Tower is a landmark in San Fran's Telegraph Hill neighborhood. You're right, buddy! Do you know where Coit Tower and the Golden Gate Bridge are? "By the redwood trees." Uh, yeah... Finally, I told him, all those things are in San Francisco. "Yeah! San Frisisco!" My kid's already reminding me of all the things I don't know.

Four generations...

We named Milo for Mike's dad's side of the family. Mike's grandpa is Milo Khan Schroeder, Mike's dad is Milo Lawrence Schroeder, and because he never liked his name as a kid, Mike's dad (Larry) named Mike, Michael Lawrence Schroeder, affectionately known as M. Lawrence the second by a couple of us McGrail women. Mike and I decided to go with family tradition, and when we asked Larry if this was okay that we name his grandson the name he never liked, and he simply said, "he can have it." We were lucky enough to grab this picture of all 4 generations of Milos and pseudo-Milos this summer...

In case I forget...

Loving how Milo's vocabulary is expanding all the time. And before I forget any more, wanted to jot down a few recent favorites.

"Hold Mommy and Daddy's hands?" as we're going for a walk. "We're all best friends!"

"Where's Santa?" Thanks to an entirely too generous family, our Christmas went on for well over a week, and now Milo doesn't understand where Santa has gone.

"I see a symbol!" What's the symbol, buddy? "It's a cross, it's a symbol for Jesus!" This one still gets me. We had a chat about crosses at church, now whenever he sees a cross on a steeple, this is our conversation. And now he's added, "What are the people doing in there? They're praying."

"I see those power lines! Just like in Hot Air Henry!" When we were in MN, there are significantly less trees surrounding the roads and you can see telephone lines and powers lines that much more. He was asking what they were, so I was trying in really simple terms to tell him about electricity getting to our houses by this lines, called power lines, and he goes, "oh, like in Hot Air Henry." So matter-of-factly. I forget that it just takes a good book reference and we're all good.

His new idiosyncrasy is plurals. He adds an additional "s" or "es" at the end of things that are already plural. Like "shoeses" or "coacheses" (what trains pull). Quirky.

Our ultrasound pictures of the new baby are on the fridge by the back door, and whenever we go outside he says "there's the baby in mommy's belly."

We've been praying before we go to sleep, and generally I ask who he wants to pray for, he goes through his list, and we pray. What I love about this is usually the front-runners are always the same, Grammie, TomTom, Nana, Booka, and Jake (guess cousin Jake needs a lot of prayer ;), but the others eb and flow more naturally. Maybe the simple mind of a 2yearold, maybe the moving of the spirit, but depending on who we've been talking about or seeing, or for no reason at all. Aunts and uncles and cousins often make the list several times a week, and tonight, without any natural reason I knew, Grandma Sue (my mom's mom) and Grandma Julie and Grandpa Milo (Mike's dad's parents).

EDIT: I forgot another great one the Mike reminded me of. One of Milo's new favorite movies is the new Winnie the Pooh, and while trying to open a couple of particularly well taped Christmas presents, Milo muttered under his breath, "oh stuff 'n' fluff." I love the he picked up on and used in the appropriate context the expletive of Pooh. Cracks me up.

And since I mentioned them above, I should probably post the ultrasound pics, huh? These were taken when I was about 21 weeks along. Mike knows the sex of the baby, but I'm still digging the surprise, so if you somehow find out through the grapevine, just don't tell me :) Everything's looking great, we're all good and healthy. Baby's due May 1st, but if I don't labor spontaneously before then, we'll have a scheduled c-section just to be careful since Milo was a c-section.