What's happened...?

I hate that this blog might be the way I have to tell some of you this, and yet at the same time, I don't quite feel up to the conversations that I have to have with each of you. I want you to hear this from me, but don't yet know what to say. I've left Praying Pelican Missions. I love what they do, who they represent, and the many friends, brothers, and sisters that we've met thru them, both here in the States and in Belize. But for reasons still not entirely understood, I've stopped working for them. I pray that God will continue to grant them success in open doors to new trips and new connections and lives touched both in participants and villages and communities in Belize. Though some of our most challenging times as a couple, Mike and I will both desparately miss our time spent and people loved this past summer. I've thought about changing our blogsite, but I'm not quite ready for that, so keep M & M'ing with us, even though we're not in, and probably won't be going back to Belize. The lovely Marin, famous for her upstairs diner on Caye Caulker taught me a few sayings this summer. There's a saying in creole, the more native "English" they speak in Belize, that Marin taught me that says "sea breeze blow pilikin same place 'e wan' go," which literally means "the sea breeze will blow the pelican to the place he wants to go to." Mike and I are riding this breeze, we don't yet know where it will take us, just that it's where we want to go.

Reunion...

The Belizean Bathroom...

By popular demand, I've been telling some of you about my plans for my Belizean Bathroom, and I'm pleased to say that it's completed! I collected a couple of items on my travels in Central America, printed a couple of pictures, and voila! The color is "azure afternoon," I always like color names. And this one seemed very appropriate, does remind me of a few afternoon skies in Belize. The shower curain is a sarong with little yellow geckoes all over it; the pictures are of some beautiful scenes Mike and I saw, a sunrise, a sunset, a waterfall in the jungle over the entrance to St. Herman's Cave, some bougainvilla (what's all over Anaheim BJ), and three sisters and a brother from Valley Community. And the hooks by the sink are from the Toucan Gift Shop on Caye Caulker. Come see
it in person! Mike says it's the best looking room in our apartment, that's kinda sad, I know, but it's the only place I was brave enough to paint in our apartment. And Sally really likes to wreck the TP for some reason, only in that bathroom... Crazy cat.

BJ, 'Nell, Me, & Tati

Departing for CA with BJ...

I told you once a few weeks or months ago that I would dedicate an entire entry to Ms. Brittney Johnson, and I figure as I'm about to spend a very long and busy weekend with her at a conference in Anaheim, that maybe I should do that now. Brittney, known to a few of us too lazy to say her whole name, as BJ, or even shorter when I'm really lazy, "Beej." She is a twin, to brother Brandon, and lives near Dallas, TX.


BJ came dramatically into life as I know it in April of this year. She was working in international sales, traveling the world in a job she did not particularly love. A friend emailed her a link to Praying Pelicans, and she contacted Jason looking for a job. And a few short weeks later, she was of course hired; how could we possibly pass up such a gem? (Here she is putting up with Linus' schenanagens, trying to sleep across her laptop...)

I spent little time with her before we all left for Belize, but knew I was going to like her. And was convinced beyond any doubt the first week in Belize. That week in Crooked Tree, I saw a woman brave enough to take on the world, literally; soft-spoken to be extremely effective and sweet to our beautifully gentle hostesses that week, Hilda and Hesse; strong enough to stand firm in leadership and in unfamiliar territory; fun-loving to play soccer, basketball, and handgames with gorgeous children; and tenacious to jump boldly into a position and organization she was still learning about.


I'm so excited to spend a few precious days with my Texan counterpart, my sweet sister in Christ, my colleague and co-conspiritor in missions, and my friend!

By the power of Grey Skull...

Way to go, Mandy; Mike was He-man for a retreat thing he went on with his pharmacy frat for early Halloween excitement. They had to dress as their favorite '80's cartoon character. Sorry about the delay in posting after the hints, Mike didn't take our camera, and it took him a little while to get a picture from someone else, but here he is in all his glory with Rainbow Brite:

Note his great pecs, huge biceps, and thunder thighs. I'm quite proud of this costume, esp. since it was last minute. Mike's a pretty good sport too. I guess he had gone down to the gathering, there weren't too many people out and about, and he had two tests that Monday he got back, so he went back to his room to study. An hour or so later, one of the guys he went with calls him and says, "By the power of Grey Skull, get down here He-man!" Took him about a half an hour to get back into his get-up, but he had a great time, and everyone was pretty impressed; a couple of other guys had wanted to do He-man but didn't because they couldn't figure out how to do it. This is what ex-RA's and artistically deprived chemists do... I still say he should've worn something that says "I love She-Rah!"

The winter cometh...

As I look out my window from my home-office, the trees are bare, or almost bare. A few stubborn remnants, dried and wilted cling to the skeletons. The temps are dropping, we've had snow, with little or no accululation, some sleet stuff a couple of days ago. The seasons are changing, inside and out.

I've found some of my fall decorations, with warm oranges, deep reds, golden yellows, but they already seem outdated; fall stays only a few days, maybe a week or two in MN. One of the things that's hard about living here: the inbetween seasons are short. But it's inside me where I feel the cold.

I wrote not too long ago about a season I am going thru, this season of change. I know deep down there is the hope in the light, the warmth and the inclusion of being in the light. But today, with the gray, drab, lifeless clouds in the sky completely obliterating the sun, I feel cold and alone.

I wrote that I hit a bit of a wall last week, and over the weekend, I climbed the wall and jumped down to the other side and into follow-up work with the many contacts I've made over the past month and a half. Calling, emailing, trying to work something up, and I've had some good conversations. And today, I hit another wall. I wonder if after the more emotional one last week, I've found a spiritual one today.

Yesterday our power went out; we heard that "someone hit something" in one of the nearby neighborhoods. We still don't know if they hit an underground wire, a pole, who knows, but our power was out most of late yesterday, and it didn't come back on until about 11 last night. Definitely slows down my after-hours emailing, etc. So Mike and I ran out to his parents' hung out with his dad for a bit and dropped off a treadmill, grainmill, and a couple of kegs, empty, to Larry's great disappointment. This morning I got up, ready to hit my computer hard. The internet's working, great; get on to my Outlook where my email goes in and out of, and mysteriously, overnight, it's no longer functioning. Mike and I bicker as he gets ready to leave this weekend, and I'm desperately trying to get my work life back online, literally. My spirit is cold with disappointment and frustration.

I know the light is there, I know that winter is not all bad, but I still feel it's ominous and inevitable approach in so many different ways.

Grrrrrrrranimals...

Don't know where I got that word, but it feels good to say when I'm irritated or frustrated or just discontented. I just found out that I officially did not get a sale I've been working on for about a month and a half. One of my first really good leads. And I feel like I did everything right; had a great meeting with the pastor, followed up well, but not being too annoying; the pastor even seemed to feel badly about saying no. He said he appreciated my heart for ministry and could tell I had an genuine heart for God and missions. But it just didn't come thru. I'm not looking for a pitty party, so don't worry about sending condolences. I'm just bummed. Grrrrranimals... I think I'll go find some chocolate...

Hey, our buddy Eric (see link on side of this page to the Svoblogger, I think...) found a neat clip from a Dove campaign. Check it out. I don't know how to do the fancy linking thing, so just go to his blog and connect to it.

Guess Mike's Halloween Costume... Fourth hint...

Okay, if this doesn't pretty much give it away, I'm not sure what will. He actually did Halloween a little early this year with a bunch of the Pharmacy crew this weekend in North Dakota. But this may be your last clue, get your guesses in!

...Okay so maybe this picture isn't that helpful... but it is really funny!!

Guess what Mike is for Halloween... Third hint...

Look at the last entry for hints one and two...

Third hint:

Guess what Mike is for Halloween...

I give you a new clue each day. Here's your first: it's something beloved from his childhood.

Here's your second:

The Cudas...

My sister Mandy and her husband Scott Cuda found their way to the almost frozen tundra this week. They are recovering from a fairly intense wedding in Las Vegas this past weekend where Mandy was bridesmaid extraordinare, and Scott had a medical conference at the U Monday and Tuesday, and it was supposed to go thru today, but they cancelled a bunch of stuff on him. They are the pair hailing from Kailua, Hawaii, so with snow flurries and low to mid-20 degree weather today, they were a little out of their element. But no worries, we found a Caribou (Mandy misses these greatly on the island) and a couple of cats to keep us warm. Was really nice to
have them with nothing to do; we just hang out well together. Mandy and I find more and more in common as we grow up, and Mike and Scott are like long-lost brothers. We get along great as couples and individuals; I really like who my sisters and I have grown into, and what the men and brothers that we love add to who we are.

Last Friday...

Last Friday I went for a walk earlier in the morning, before work to clear my head, gather my thoughts, and to throw some things around with God. I find that walking is one of the best activities for me to do this. The Big Guy sometimes even reveals to me little tidbits of wisdom.

This fall morning, I walked streets and sidewalks speckled with autumnal sunlight filtering thru the partially bare branches. I've been struggling a little bit recently, maybe you have guessed, in my trust and reliance in these situations when I am utterly out of control. This fall with this new job, in this new place, with new people all around, and an entirely new situation concerning my and Mike's income has forced me to either lean solely on the One who insists I do so, or drive myself crazy in the process. And as I walked along thru the patches of light, I did find a bit of truth...

Leaves on trees in the spring are new life, displays of healthy organisms, of food being produced and growth happening. Thru the summer, the leaves are sustained, filled out, and they soak up the light. And then in the fall, their gradual demise is ironically evident in the striking display of colors, before they are shed, dry and useless, to save the tree from the deadly cold of winter.

This sort of hibernation, this dying of a part of the organism to save the rest so that the new green growth of spring can happen, reminds me a bit of my faith walk. I go thru these times of growth, of warmth in the light, soaking up the life-giving food of the Spirit. These times of sustaining, of filling out my spiritual girth, expanding my horizons, learning new things. And now I find myself in another spiritual autumn, a dying of a season and a leading into another yet unseen. A time of the changing of my colors in preparation for a winter. I don't exactly know what's coming; it might be a long, bitter Minnesota winter, maybe a short, mild Virginia winter. But I realize something else too. When the leaves are shed and the branches are bare, the light is that much clearer, the shade is less and less, the darkness becomes light. The leaves and growth are good, essential, but sometimes they distract from the clarity of the light. It's in the winters of our faiths that we see and feel the light most clearly, maybe in the utter contrast of the coldness of doubt. In autumn, the leaves fall, we shed the distractions and see only the light. I look forward to another spring, but for right now, in this autumn leading to a winter, I will focus on the light, now seen so clearly thru the bare branches, as I crunch thru the leaves at my feet...

Dunn Brothers, laptop, latte...

So I sit here at "work" at Dunn Brothers Coffee shop; they have free wireless access, so I can actually do my job from this little spot on University Ave. I'm actually feeling quite unmotivated; out of the 14 churches I visited today, two were closed, 11 I only spoke to a secretary, and only at one did I actually talk to a youth pastor. Supposedly Mondays and Fridays are bad days to hit churches, most likely days for pastors to have off, but Thursdays obviously aren't great either. I do like my job; I have the power to make it or not make it, I determine my schedule, who I meet with and when, what I do and when, and yet it's a little disheartening a lot of the time. So much of this is laying a foundation of which I might not see fruits for weeks, months, or even years.

But I do like that today I find myself at a coffee shop, sending emails, making a couple phone calls, and sipping a pumpkin spice latte (James, your blog inspired me when I walked in today). Not that I should really be spending $3.69 on a drink I've almost consumed in about 10 minutes, but Mike's talking about going out tonight, so this means I just won't order a drink if/when we go out. This is logical, right?

People ask what I do... Kinda difficult to answer... I'm a door-to-door salesman, I'm a telemarketer, I send what some might consider spam emails, all the things taht are people's worst pet peeves. But I don't really do any of that. I mean I do, but I don't. I really want people to know about what we do and why. And I want to be used by pastors to benefit their ministries. But at the moment, I feel mostly like the afore mentioned. Is that bad? If you worked at a church and I came in and talked to you, would you hate me? Would I be wasting your time in such an offensive manner?

As I type, the roastmaster at this particular Dunn Bros has just started roasting the beans in a contraption about the size of a refrigerator from the '50's. The gentle humming, swooshing, buzzing is pretty nice. The one problem with my job is times like these, when I really just want to grab a book, listen to the coffee beans whirl, and get lost in distraction. But I guess I have to remember the summer; those trips happened because of moments like these when the boys chose to be effective rather than distracted. Guess I should get back to work...

A few of my favorite things... from this week...

So we had a couple of great surprises this week already. Some great friends from Duluth popped down and stayed the night on our new futon; Eric, Jen, and Zeb Svoboda came and crashed in our extra bedroom Saturday night, hung out for a bit Sunday morning before meeting up with some other friends in Minneapolis. We saw Eric for just a bit last weekend when we were up in Duluth, but we missed Jen and Zeb as they were in Fargo ("Faaaar-gooo") visiting with Jen's family, but we got the whole gang for a night in St. Paul. Jen and Eric were among the first couples that Mike and I got to know and love as a couple. It works out perfectly in that I enjoy Jen's company as much as Mike enjoys Eric; and Zeb is the perfect entertainment for all of the above. I like this arrangement with the four of us; we complement each other well, it seems, and man, watch out when it comes to playing a mean game of marbles; Jen and Mike are just a wee bit too competitive, but fortunately, Eric and I can generally keep them in line. We haven't tried Settlers of Caton with all four of us yet, that just might get ugly.

And then, just tonight, I was steeple chasing on the east side of St. Paul, and just decided to keep driving, over the river and into Wisconsin, to U of W River Falls, where one of my favorite college freshmen resides: Sarah Knuth. We spent a most pleasant evening scarffing Perkins and sitting in the greatest little coffee shop, sipping tea and mochas, writing speeches, updating excel files, and catching up. Sarah, as I've mentioned in the past, is wise beyond her years, with a ready smile and laugh; always a light in my day. She's working on a degree in Elementary Education and will someday become the best second-grade teacher ever to walk the halls of any school she chooses to bless (don't really know about the second grade thing...).

Thanks, Eric, Jen, Zeb, and Sarah, for making my week already, and it's only Tuesday! I enjoy all of you and miss you all terribly, though I'm way glad that we're still not too far away (35 minutes, Sarah; I timed it on the way home!)

A few angels among us...

Let me introduce you to a few of the angels in my life, usually sent directly from God at just the right moments, to give just what I need at that moment. In no particular order:

Amy Patrick, lives in Salt Lake City, UT, and has the uncanny sense of when I'm having a rough time with stuff, calls, says she's in Minnesota, and says that she's coming to hang out, give and receive backrubs, and "unpack" our apartment. Love you, Amy J; impecable timing, and the best backrubs I've ever gotten.

Denise and Maria, gals from the flower shop, who also make the time for me in their very busy lives, among multiple jobs, couple of sweet daughters, husbands, etc. to take me out for drinks, laughs, and moral support.

Amanda Lufholm, wonderful, wise, sister-type; we seem to go thru similar stuff, but at different times, making her the best source of experience-based advice; plus she gives great hugs and takes me on long walks with Sam; what more is there in life?

Tatianna and Janell, got some lovin' from the PPM staff this past weekend at a staff reunion; Tatianna is pure joy incarnet, her laugh is infectious, her smile lights up a room or an entire state park, and this contentment shines thru when she leads worship. She makes me want to be near her to try and grasp some of this joy that wells up from her soul! And Janell, what, no, Janell, come on... my roommate from most of the summer, that knows my moods when I wake up in the morning, cries with me when I need to cry, commiserates when I need to commiserate, laughs when I need to laugh, and can belch like few other refined women I know; truly a sister in all aspects of the word! And man, when we say angelic, I imagine her voice when she sings is what heaven will sound like when we praise Him for all eternity!

And for some reason, they won't let me put on any other pics... I was going to tell you about the fabulous BJ... I'll just have to save her for her own blog!

Thanks to all you wonderful women who have given so much to me so effortlessly!! I appreciate all of you more than you'll ever know. And PS- these are just the people who have effected me lately!

Another day...

I write today without any specific news. Mike and I have moved into our new apartment, nothing terribly exciting, lots of boxes and clutter. I've continued on with Praying Pelican, and fall is our busy time of finding new trips. I think this will be an interesting endevour. Today I am simply sending me out to all of you. I am missing a great many of you today, feeling a little alone. Feeling a little lost in where I am at and why I am here. But here all the same... Mom and Dad, Heather, and Kate and James and Finn were here this weekend, fevorishly unpacking boxes and putting things away; maybe I am just missing the void they have left. Maybe I'm a little scared of what I've gotten myself into. Maybe I'm in recovery, spiritual and otherwise from this past week in Belize. Whatever it is, it's where I'm at. Linus, Sally, and I are going to go set up the office...

Linus loving the new futon...


And Sally deciding playing with the camera strap is much more fun than sitting and getting her picture taken...

White Coat Ceremony Pics

Well, during orientation they threw a white coat on me, and called me a student pharmacist. So I guess its somewhat official now...

Here's some pictures from after the ceremony:

I present to you the University of Minnesota, Twin Cities pharmacy class of 2010.

Some proud parents thinking, "Seriously Mike...are you REALLY done with school after pharmacy school?"

Would you buy drugs from this man?

Back in Belize...

Yup, back in Belize for Praying Pelican's last trip this summer. We're working in Belize City this week with Pastor Lloyd, who ironically keeps trying to send me to Cancun... I love that guy! But no worries, Pfingsten brothers, I am in Belize City. I got this great shot of the good pastor as he talked on his cell phone in the middle of a busy downtown Belize City street... But interesting internet connection in our favorite PPM "home away from home," the Global Village, is not letting me post it; I'll get it on another time. It's been amazing to continue to renew and make new connections; I've gotten to be reacquainted with Keith's family from two years ago, who came out from Belize City to minister with us in Democracia. Kecia and Kedel are almost all grown up, sort of, and I've gotten to meet their little sister, Kia.

Pastor Cecil from Democracia was in the city today working on various projects, and amazing news Lakeview Crew, Frank Clark rededicated his life to Christ last week!! Praise God for answered prayers!! As you can imagine, Pastors Lloyd and Cecil are beside themselves with excitement for what this means for that small village; Frank and his wife Myrtle are pillars in that community, so to have Frank back on board not only means a significant change in his own spiritual life, but also in the village's.

Not going to write too long today, gotta get back to work... Besides if you all continue to refuse to comment on either Mike or I's entries, we might just give this up!! I have the sneaking suspicion that there are actually people reading this, but who would know?

Thanks again to all our friends and family who helped Mike move this weekend, for your patience and support; we love all of you so much!!!

Moving and Orientation

I forgot how much moving sucks. We completely filled Meg's and I new apartment with boxes, and I've been trying to swim out.

Moving is a big ordeal for anyone; it's even bigger when U-Haul makes it harder. I got a call on last week from U-haul that they did not have any trucks in Duluth, but had one in Cloquet. Fine, I say...not a big deal, even though Cloquet is 1/2 hour away. I had to pick a truck up for Minneapolis in Mankato once, so not a surprise considering it is peak moving season. So I show up in Cloquet to find that the truck and tow-dolly are both damaged and unusable. Not only that, but the blankets I reserved were also not there for me, at no fault of the Cloquet U-haul guy. Apparently he put out some work orders on the truck and dolly, but the service tech never came, even though they knew I had reserved it. He calls HQ, peeved, and they tell him that there is a truck available in Grand Rapids or Hibbing, both 1 1/2 hour + away! I am starting to think I will be moving mid-week instead on Sunday. Meanwhile, people that I have arranged to move with in Duluth at 11:00, have been waiting for 30+ minutes with no Mike in sight. So I decide to check out a 14' truck in Duluth to see if it is big enough to put all of our stuff in, which is laughable because we completely filled a 10x20' storage unit. So back in Duluth, I ask the U-haul guys if they have a 24' truck available...and they did...a 27' truck. They were fixing it because apparently the battery was draining. But because I was doing a one-way move, I didn't see why it wouldn't work. So, they gave me the truck, and life was good. Special thanks for the Svoblog and the Knuth family for hauling stuff into the trailer! Matt P was also at the scene, but had to do pre-baby activities in the afternoon on Sunday; plus he waited for over 30 minutes for me to show up at 11:00.

Later, in the Twin Cities, my uncle Scott, Grandpa, my Mom and Dad, and Jason P, helped me unload the truck. My grandpa is a workhorse! He's 80+ yrs old, and has a prosthetic knee, but he was hauling all the heavy stuff with the rest of us! So after 3 hours of heavy lifting, we decided to call it a night.

So this morning, I show up for pharmacy orientation. I was pretty pleased with myself, because I was 45 minutes early...only to find out it starts tomorrow. So I was 24+ hrs early. Shows that you should read your emails VERY carefully. So looking like an idiot, I walked out of the pharmacy office with my tail between my legs. Oh well...at least I got my bus pass.