So I was just writing to an old Wheaton friend of mine, and I think I was finally able to verbalize something that I haven't been able to until this point. And I don't think it's anything terribly profound, but it's just so true to me right now, looking back on the ease of my faith in college. And I thought I would share it with you...
"Anyways, nice to hear from you, again. Been missing my Wheaties recently... Have dealt with a couple of things this past year and not going to lie, my faith has suffered. Still love God, desperately even now, but man, his people can really mess you up. We are going to a great church, but we're not real active in anything. It's funny though, sometimes I almost feel more effective as a witness, the less holy I am. That's probably a good and a bad thing, but the best I can do right now. Many of the gang that I work with are not Christians, one even fairly atheistic Jew, but the spiritual talks are abundant and not forced. But all that to say, I still miss the easy support that a place like Wheaton offered. That people like you always offered, thanks for that..."
That thanks goes out to all of you out there too, who have always been such easy support. And when I say easy, I mean not forced, gently and naturally given, with great love. So my question for all of you, my easy supporters, how do I move on, how do I without cynicism and with much grace, move on from that which has been, into a new season, one of more deliberate faith, of more active faith, when I still hurt and flinch in the presence of other Christians?
