One of my favorite holiday memories...

One of my mentors in life just blogged about giving this time of year, and it's provoked me to share a memory. I don't want to embarrass anyone, so we'll just say that a couple near and dear to me provided this memory for me.

They had heard of several families who going into the holidays were struggling to make ends meet, and decided on their own to do something about it. They purchased supplies for full holiday meals for each of the families, packaged them up, and attached anonymous notes letting them know that these items came from people who knew and cared about them, and simply wished them a merry and blessed Christmas.

They drove to each house, parked a little ways away, left the packages on the doorstep, rang the bell, and ran back to the car. They waited just long enough to make sure someone received the items, then drove away. No one, other than those who were there, ever knew who did this.

I know I love to get a great gift just like the next person. And I do love to give a good gift, but in my pride, partly I think I like to give great gifts because it's gratifying to me to know that on some level, I'm good. I'm a great gift giver. I don't give just to give, I give for that gratitude that follows the giving. It's still selfish giving. I will always look to this memory as the example of truly selfless giving, that doing good when no one's looking.

I don't remember who those families were. I don't remember what I got for Christmas that year. But I'll always remember that example of how to give.

Non-failure...

To follow up on that last flop in parenthood, thought I'd share a fun time Milo and I, and then Mike joined in too, shared getting ready for the holidays. I had debated whether he was too young to help with the baking of the famous sugar cookies, batch #1, but I figured, why not?

We started one afternoon before naps, I mixed, Milo helped me count how many cups or tablespoons of things that we needed, and then we rolled out the dough. I mostly rolled out, he told me what cookie cutters to use, where to put them on the dough, and then he pushed the cutters through the dough. Overall, it worked quite nicely. I had thought we'd let them cool and then decorate them after naps, but alas, the two-year-old demon reared its ugly head again, so we decorated the next day. That worked out well as it meant Mike was able to help. We frosted and Milo was on sprinkle patrol. Just don't tell anyone from our small group in OH how many times Milo licked his fingers between cookies. I tried to wipe as many times as possible, but that colorful sprinkly goodness was too much for him :)

Overall though, a grand success, hopefully one to be repeated a few more times before Christmas actually arrives. And Blogger is being ridiculous with pictures so I'll see if I can post some later...

Failure...

Tonight, even most of today, I am a failure as a parent. Not that this hasn't happened before, but Milo now has the ability to respond to my inability in much more harsh ways. I'm not actually sure if it's him or me, but it feels like me. This morning he was up early, so I was up early. I started out slow, we ate breakfast, and I started unpacking and moving things around with fervor. I've found I need to make use of these rare moments in pregnancy when some energy plus lack of nausea gives me a small window of opportunity. Small, lasted about an hour to ninety minutes. At which point, Milo got a little whiney, I got really tired and a little more aware of my rounder self, and we curled up on my bed with the computer tuned in to some favorite cartoons. I actually dozed off, not that that bother Milo, just meant he got to watch more.

Finally dragged myself up again, got us both dressed and decided we'd pack a lunch so we could head to the park when Mike got home a little after noon. Milo's been liking to help me in the kitchen, so I asked if he wanted to come sit on the counter. Yes. Ok. On the counter, I started to pull stuff out, he pitches a fit. OIy. Do you want some cars? No! Do you want to sit on the counter? No! Ok, down to the floor. NO! I WANT TO SIT ON THE COUNTER! I WANT SOME CARS! I try again and again to explain to him that when he says no, that means he does not want what I am asking, that if he does want that, he should say yes, or better, yes please. We're in the midst of this hopeless discussion when Mike comes in. Now it's escalated to Milo crying and yelling, "Mommy hold you Mommy hold you!" Bless his heart, Mike steps in, allowing me to pack lunch. The park was fairly successful, and after a little picnic and a lot of play, we headed back.

Some resistance to nap, but nothing I couldn't handle. He slept for a good 2, 2.5 hours and woke up super crabby. Usually I'd just leave him in bed and let him cry it out, but partly because I knew Mike would be heading to sleep, and partly because I thought a little mom-cuddle time might remedy the situation, I got him up. Bad idea. Cuddling work long enough for Mike to go to bed, then all hell broke loose. Everything I did or didn't do was wrong and resulted in screaming crying. Managed a decent dinner with the help of a Thomas episode, my kid's a couch potato at 2, another failure, we fought over him watching another one, then he didn't want to watch another one and wanted to finger paint. Okay, fine, I pull out some paints I managed not to pack and set him up. That lasts about 90 seconds before he wants me to paint for him. I try helping him paint, but that irritates him more. More tears and screaming. I have him sit on a chair with his blanket for a minute to regain control of his breathing. It's about 6:30pm and I'm praying for bedtime. Screw it. Ready for a bath, buddy? No bath!! Okay, straight to bed? NO, I WANT A BATH! Not this again. Go upstairs, run the bath, he brings some cars to play with, get him in the bath and he freaks out again. Throws his cars out of the tube, then screams that he wants his cars. Not going to give in to that one at the moment. He's crying, I'm trying to rub his back, which he seems to really like recently. Kinda helps. I ask him if his tummy hurts, thought he just ate fine, he says no, not that that means anything to him. I ask him if I can feel his teeth, which he always finds kinda funny, and is a good way for me to check and see if his molars are coming in. NO! Okay, out of the tube, into jammies, I pull some books and tell him to pick some to. He sees one of the ones I picked, usually one he likes, and he freaks out. I bring my pile to the rocking chair and sit, watching him cry, baffled. He finally comes over with a book, I read him about 8 books, stretching time to a little after 7pm, we rock a I try to snuggle, but now he's all energy and wants to tackle Sally who's by his bed. Fine. He does, then I do manage to tuck him in, he freaks out about a blanket he doesn't want, I cover his feet with it, give him a drink of water, say goodnight, and escape.

I can't believe I even say the word escape when it comes to my kid's room. I know that parenting isn't easy, I know I'm not always going to be the best, I know that my kid is 2 and going through all kinds of crazy changes right now, geographically, socially, physically, but how have I completely lost the ability to communicate with my child? How have I already forgotten how to find a way to steer him straight and find the balance between happiness and direction? I'm so tired tonight. And I really want a glass of wine and a pint of Chubby Hubby, neither of which are possible.

We moved.

Here we are in NC. Kinda crazy, but we're really liking it so far. Mike picked out a great house for us to rent for a while so we can figure out the area, spend some time becoming parents again, you know, all that stuff. Milo seems to be adjusting well. Gotta say, it's great not having to worry too much about how much this will affect him. He still talks about people in Toledo, but I don't think he really gets what's happened. The most significant thing with him was his 15 hour sleep last night. Mike put him down for a nap around 3pm, he woke at about 4:15pm asking for some milk, went back to sleep, I started to worry about him being alive around 6:30/7pm, went to check on him, and he was half off his mattress (were mid-transition out of the crib = mattress on the floor), covered in his stuffed animals. I tried to gently move him back on his bed, he kinda whimpered and asked me to hold him, so we cuddled for a bit, and he passed out again. I even changed his diaper and put jammy pants on him without him waking. He stirred at about 1am, then about 5am, again asking for milk, I'm sure he was starving, and then was up about 6:30am. He was a peach today, great attitude all morning, super cute and funny. One of those mornings when I'm really grateful I don't have to go drop him off at someone else's for the day.

I'm moving a bit slower these days. Morning/anytime sickness is lessening finally, but not gone yet. I still require a nap pretty much every day. I'm anxious for my nesting stage to kick in, so I can really pull this place together, but I'm making progress. And we've got 4 bedrooms, so if anyone's up for a visit, let us know.

Mike seems to be loving this new position too. The team here seems a good fit for him, good for his personality and development plan as a pharmacist. And not gonna lie, I'm not missing the on-call or working weekends!

I am glad we're back together as a family again. A month was kinda tough. Mike and I saw each other one weekend in there when we were looking at places to live, but Milo didn't see his daddy for over a month. Though he is very resilient, his attitude in general, but specifically when I wasn't around or trying to leave him in the very able care of babysitters or nursery staff left much to be desired. He was really clingy, cried when I left which he didn't do much before, and spent some extra time in time-outs. He also had a couple of sad nights with bad dreams, all of which people have told me were indicators of him just knowing that his dad wasn't there. Again, just glad it's over.

Now he's busy saying things like, "Mommy you come with me to North Carolina?" and pretty much perpetually when he's not around, "where's Daddy? sshh, Daddy sleeping?" and one of my new favorites, "that's really wonderful!" He's thrown that one in once or twice in surprisingly appropriate times. This pic is one that my dad/moving truck driver-extraordinaire snapped enroute; we had stopped for lunch, and Milo loved to get up in the "penske truck."

**Mike Edit**


Milo has discovered how to use the itouch recently. He likes playing this puzzle game that involves routing cars and trains through busy intersections. He has beaten Dad's high score already. I was telling Meg I'm not sure whether to be proud or ashamed as a parent... :)

It reminds me of this video I saw recently; a commentary on where future generations may be heading?

Try and tell me I don't have the cutest kid...

While Mom, Dad, and Heather were on Milo-duty recently so Mike and I could try and find a place to live, my dad snapped these shots with his phone. I'm all about just calling it a day for senior pictures. Seriously, can we really do much better than this? I know, I know, everyone has the cutest kid. And I'll try not to brag him up too much, this will be a moment for me, just let me have it.

On the same trip, on my way back through, we were sitting out on the deck having dinner, and Dad was messing with Milo, both of them sitting across the table from me, tickling him, make him crack up, all the things that are super helpful when trying to get a 2-yr-old to eat. Mike called, and while I was talking to him, all of a sudden, Milo starts repeating with more and more intensity, "What's wrong with Milo. What's wrong with Milo? What's wrong with Milo?!!" He had somehow become wedged between the highchair and table during one of the ticklings, and couldn't quite articulate in his confusion that something was wrong. And yes, we're still working on the third person reference. I think it's kinda funny.

On another front, our little family decided that we didn't have enough going on, and we'd add one more major life-change to our plate: I'm pregnant. Hopefully coming up on the end of the first trimester soon as I'm feeling pretty tired in general and over being nauseous and sick. We're really excited for another little Schroeder to be joining the clan around the end of April!

Kids say the darnest things...

Funny story that happened a while ago...

We were walking through Macy's looking for some birthday ideas for my (Mike's) mom. At this point, Milo is getting a little squirrelly as it is getting close to nap time. But, he's still being a good kid having fun running through the store between the clothing racks. We wandered into the "intimates" section thinking maybe some nice new PJs might be nice. At this point, Milo goes into the lingerie section of the store where all the bras are hanging from the racks. At first, he thinks they are pillows (afterall, the larger cups are closer to the bottom), and he proceeds to lay his head against them. "Ohh...soft." Then a leopard print one catches his eye and he wanders towards it saying "Uh-huh...that's cute." From there, he is going around grabbing all of the various lacy and printed bras, critiquing them with "that's cute," and "that one is nice."

Mom is very embarrassed at this point, and Dad is very amused. Must have learned how to shop from watching Mom and Grammie.

Um, yeah...

So we're moving. Again. Exactly 16 months after we moved to Toledo, we're now moving to NC. Mike's company offered him a pretty great opportunity, one that he's pretty psyched about, so we took it. That means he starts work on Monday, October 3rd. Yes, that's 10 days from today. Granted, we knew about this a couple of weeks ago, but he only interviewed for the job the last week of August. All that to say, everything's moving really fast, except me. I'm having a little bit of a hard time wrapping my brain around this one.

I'm actually really excited about everything that matters. We're moving to a little town outside Raleigh, which is an awesome area that both Mike and I love. Mike's job will be a grand improvement over his current one, everyone we talk to who knows anyone from there says it's such a great place for families. When we visited for a weekend when Mike interviewed, I found my new favorite farmer's market that's open year-round until 8pm every night. And all the homes we're looking at seem wonderful, and a great match for this new stage in life.

Maybe things are just moving faster than my brain is processing. Maybe I'm having a hard time explaining this to my new-found, dear friends here in Toledo. Maybe I'm more resistant to change than I would choose to admit, even good change. Anyways, I haven't started packing yet. But that's what tomorrow's for, right?

Milo says...

Some other funny or impressive Milo-isms:

-"Schmutz" I'm personally very proud of this, though I'm thinking I've been mispronouncing the yiddish word "schmutz" all these years. Milo appropriately uses it to identify anything that shouldn't be there, i.e. "Mommy, some schmutz on me" (when there was dirt on his knee), "little schmutz on there" (when there is something on his hands or on whatever he's eating...) Highly useful term, I must say.

-"Daddy body slam!" Perfectly emphasized when Mike was laying on his back during a picnic recently. Soon followed by the appropriate action. Also works when wanting to smash our fluffy Siamese, "Charlie body slam!"

-"It disappeared!" Milo said this as he was covering his dinner with an empty bowl. I know, not earth shattering, but I thought fairly impressive for a 2-year old.

-While waiting in line to board the zoo train, Milo was low to the ground doing a low squat shuffle with his butt a couple inches off the ground and advancing through the line past unsuspecting people. When I asked him to come back, he turned around with a big grin on his face and said, "Milo sneaky!"

Miles of Smiles...

I used to call you that, when you were tiny and had just learned to smile. You smiled at everyone and everything. Put a camera in your face, and you grinned. And this year you turned 2, and your smile literally went for miles.

It started at Nana and Booka's house in MN, where you graciously shared a celebration and cake with me, and got to spend some quality time with your namesakes. Hanging with Grandpa Milo and Grandma Julie, reading with Grandpa Milo, running in the yard with Booka to set a fish in his pond! Good thing you got to see
him go in because everytime you went to look for him after that he was hiding under a rock. Nana made one of your favorites, just for you, 'ghetti and meatballs! Booka works hard a teaching you all kinds of bad manners, and we all love it! Nana even got you a new Lightning McQueen suitcase with wheels that fell over and slammed onto their kitchen floor; you were scared of it for a while, but now I have to hide it in the closet because you always want to pull it everywhere you go! You also got to splash in Dandy's pool with Nana, and use your new watering can to water Nana's garden. And nothing beats walking to the parks by Nana and Booka's house with the great
slides and swings. Booka's got you hooked on underdogs now. And one of your highpoints of this trip: going to see your first movie! Cars 2, of course. Booka wouldn't wait so your daddy could take you, he loves to steal those firsts ;) Your eyes were the size of saucers the whole time, but you sat so well through the whole thing.


Then we jumped another plane where we continued the birthday celebration in NJ with Grammie and TomTom, Auntie Heather, Auntie Mandy, Jake and Sam, and the whole Furler Clan. On your birthday, we went to a model train exhibit that you didn't want to leave; you climbed on a play wooden train outside, and you oogled all the different
kinds of trains inside, chugging on their miniature tracks. Then we went to the zoo, and on this trip, your favorite thing was actually a couple of goats that kept nimbling your fingers with their lids through a fence. We ended the trip with rides on the carosel and a trackless train and then a picnic of one of your favorite things, McNuggets and fries! The next day, we had your first pool party at Grammie
Sue and Grandpa Al's house, where you cried about getting in the pool before you realized that it was fun to float in that pink floatie with a couple of your cars. Then you got to eat one of your other favorites: pizza! And you snubbed your nose
at the fancy cupcakes that Grammie and I went to 2 different places to find. But all the other kids at your party loves them, Jake, Sam, Louisa, Henry, and Drew. I don't think baby Clara got to try a bite, though Grammie tried to feed her some.
All your new friends already knew you so well and gave you all your new favorite cars and books! And then you got to drive in TomTom's RV most of the way home.
Between the trains, planes, and loads of different automobiles, oh and the bikes, not a bad celebration for a 2-year-old who loves things that go.


Love you, buddy. Happy belated birthday! Looking forward to seeing so many more!

The perfect day...

Today was one of those unplanned, unscheduled, perfect days. Don't get me wrong, mostly I am a list maker, appointment maker, and schedule keeper, though often late for any and all of the above. But today, we had no plans, we just did what we wanted to do, when we wanted to, and it was great.

Mike worked the obscenely early morning shift and was home by 7:30, and sent me back to bed. Very nice man that he is, realizing I'm next in line to catch the plague that Milo has been surviving, he let me sleep 'til about 10. We then took our time, doing the "what do you want to do?" "I don't know what do you want to do?" dance. We had both looked for fun 4th of Julyish-type things to do, but seems as though most of those happened over the weekend.

So we finally decided to grab some food and go to a park. Milo was on board as long
as there were slides and swings involved. Right as we were walking out the door, Mike got paged in. No worries, we're flexible today. Drop Mike at work, go grap some take-out, go back to get Mike, eat lunch in the car 'cause Milo and I were impatient and hungry. Grab Mike, head to the park. Slide down some slides, relax in the shade. Hey look, there's the ice cream man. Milo's never had an ice cream from a real ice cream truck. Mike holds him up and he points to the one he wants, a perfect "snack sized" option ideal for toddlers with no attention span, even for ice cream. Back to sit in the shade, eat ice cream, then back to the slide and swings.

Gets hot and maybe sunburn-inducing bright. Milo hears a train whistle. Want to see the train? Okay, let's see if we can find it! Sure enough, Daddy's a pretty good train chaser. He finds one that's stopped along the track, and he and Milo get out to take a closer look. Then it starts to move again, and so do we.

Milo falls asleep in the car on the way home, and I join him in nap mode when we get back to our place. Mike's still working overnight, so he too heads to bed shortly. When Milo wakes up from his nap, we meander down to the garage, hop on the bike, and go to water our community garden. Milo hangs out, sits on a towel eating goldfish, then off to help me water the plants, then off to play with his trucks. We take the scenic route home, along the river, check out a momma and some teenage ducklings, feed them a few of the remaining goldfish, go across a cool bridge, and then back home for dinner, bath, and bedtime stories. A great day. Not particularly patriotic, but full of fantastic moments.

Couple cute/funny Milo soundbites...

"Love you Charlie!" with his face smashed into the cat's side. At least we know he's not allergic.

Mike and I have decided that euphemisms are not always helpful, especially with body parts so we'll just call them what they are. So Milo's sitting on the couch, fully clothed, the other day and he just says, "penis." I reply "Where's your penis, Milo?" He says, "it's hiding."

We're at Red Lobster. After checking out the live lobsters in the tank, a great employee even pulled one out for Milo to see and touch, TomTom passes a lobster tail carcass for Milo to check out. "Cockroach?" he asks. Hee hee, I can't even help myself, I'm laughing out loud. "Cockroach! Wall-e da bug da cockroach!" he yells, grinning from ear to ear (translation: Wall-e's pet bug the cockroach, he's into that Pixar flick now, and he loves that cockroach)

Where do Nana and Booka live?

Happy 32 Handsome!

He'd never tell you himself, and he always makes sure the wait staff knows not to sing to him, but on his day, I guess it's my right to announce to the world that my man has survived one more year. I do say survived because I think esp. this past year may have been a little tough on him. I know I have been. And Milo's into his two's already though his birthday isn't until June. And yet here he is, with a great job, taking great care of his family, setting us up well for the future asking all those questions about saving for college for Milo and the like. Mike is an internalizer, and this is a little tough on me his verbal-tirade-inflicting wife, so sometimes we have to dig a little bit, but he's also so talented and so smart. He has seen much and sometimes calls himself cynical, and maybe that's true, but he is also good and generous. He loves to give nice gifts; now that we have a little more cushion, he gives so generously without much thought. And as we start to formulate the priorities in our lives, who we want to be as parents and role models for our kid, I love that he gives so quietly and effortlessly. He is also the best dad. He loves to take Milo out on an adventure. Whether it's a walk down the street to the park, across town to the "good" park for swings, slides, and flying a kite, or over to the Imagination Station, Mike loves to have fun with Milo. He also loves that Milo loves things like fries and pizza and Chipotle. He gets almost as excited as Milo over things like the moon in his room and building things out of his leggos. Happy Birthday, Mike. Love ya.

Manos Garden...

I've somehow been included in an exciting new adventure. I think sometimes God has a way of answering prayers before you even know how to ask for it. My friend Jackie and I had been looking into getting into a community garden and not having much luck, as most plots were full with waiting lists, far away, or not easy to work with. I happened upon a free garden class at the library downtown here by us, and all of a sudden made a couple of connections. I realized that one of the guys I had been trying to contact about a garden was an expert at the class, and then we started talking, and I'm putting it altogether and he's telling me about a couple of potentials. I gathered his and a few other's information, and left excited and not so scared (Mike's dad justifiably reminds me of my "black" thumb :)

After emailing this guy again, I arbitrarily picked this garden about a mile from me because it was the closest one. He then connected me with the gal in charge of that garden, and after emailing her, she sent back a reply saying they were having a meeting regarding that garden the next day. I scrambled to get my babysitter lined up, everything worked out, so I hesitantly attended this meeting the next afternoon.

I rapidly realized that I was in over my head in terms of experience, and then realized that this was not exactly what I initially thought. I say at a conference table in a house belonging to the botanical gardens surrounded by 4 master gardeners, the seeming main guy, Michael, with the non-profit associated with the botanical garden for a group called Toledo Grows, the gal in charge of this garden, Alison, and it sounded like several other projects, and a couple of other community members who seemed well-versed in gardens, plants, and ...birds? I was a little confused.

Then it starts to come into focus that this garden isn't really established yet, but not only is it going to be a community garden, it's going to be a project that handicapped adults in Toledo will come and work, in addition this woman, Helen who works with these adults, is also in partnership with a birding society at Cornell and they have interest in making this an urban site to watch local fowl. Helen is also in partnership with a corporation that supports this program with the adults and several more so there's various funding options available. Three of the 4 master gardeners are newly graduated from their master gardener's class and excited about taking an active mentoring role in this locations, it's in an interesting location in Toledo highly connected with the arts community, so there's already been a mural painted onsite and this whole group wants to continue this commitment through other art structures or works and in the actual layout of the garden. They have already started in motion the necessary steps to get it on the weekly art walks in the summer. There's another gentleman, Brian, at this table who is a contractor who also works with at-risk kids, kids who have been in juvenile detention and the like, who is on board to build a terraced garden complete with rain collection barrels, all sorts of raised beds, and a rain garden, whatever that is. And then there's Susan, the master gardener who taught the class I took at the library who is also connected in various ways to the local community college and thus has student volunteers available and some funding as well.

All of this stuff that is way over my head is flying back and forth across the table, and I'm watching all this like a tennis match, and then they turn to me. Why am I here? Uh, well, I'd like to try not to kill some tomatoes, maybe some peppers or peas...? Alison graciously steps in and explains that I live in the area and represent the families in the area. Wait a second, represent? I've somehow become a participant in this project that has the power, knowhow, and ability to create this space that will literally change the face of this part of the city. What?

I called my mom, all excited and overwhelmed, and she says that I have to blog about this! And I'm like, yeah, okay, write about how I'm this random, under-qualified, most-likely-to-kill-anything-that-grows stay-at-home mom who's going to try and blend into this group until they realize I'm ruining my corner of their art. But then again... So here's where we're starting, an empty lot with a beautiful mural on one end. And I've even started some tomatoes, peppers and peas from seed. Maybe I can do this. I'll let you know.

Yummy yogurt

Just cute...

Some recent cute pics, nothing in particular...

Better late than never...

I'm behind as usual with this online journal of my family's life. But I am a firm believer in the truth in the title of this post, and so I will continue on. This one actually has dual meaning...

A couple weeks ago, we fully utilized our close proximity of Em and Logan Cotter (Furler) to take advantage of this portal into the Furler family. I've been joking with Em, hoping that she doesn't feel like I use her to see the rest of her family, and I'm hoping that Milo and I have been spending enough time with just Em and Drew to make that real, but nevertheless, we took advantage of them again. First for Sue, now for Sarah, Kyle, and Livy.

Sarah and I are 2 of the middle daughters in this McGurfer conglomerate, so we tended to spend the most time together growing up. Common interests of epic computer games (Kings Quest of course being the favorite) and legos, sealed the deal. Unfortunately as we've grown into adults, we've been far apart geographically and not able to see each other very often, or at all. Crazy enough, or maybe not so crazy as I always seemed to be following her as a kid, we married within weeks of each other, her in July, me in August, and then had our kids within months, Livy born in April, Milo in June. But we haven't seen each other since we've had babies.

Em was a gracious host, and we played together, trying to make friends with each other's kids; I think Livy is still a little wary of this crazy lady, but I'll win her over :) Drew and Livy were on much more similar nap schedules, so it seemed like Milo was often sleeping when they were awake, but we managed some good kid time. The six adults played a game reminiscent of ourchildhood in the Furler household, a great train game called Ticket to Ride, and Sarah smashed all of us. Then, so familiar to me and Sarah, everyone else went to bed, and she and I talked until the wee hours of the morning. Sarah is still the most staunch night owl I know. Most of us in our old age ;), can stay up late, but generally find a happy medium, but Sarah still doesn't seem tohit her stride until about 10 or 11 at night, and is really her best after midnight. It was great though, catching up on each other's lives, laughing and comparing notes as moms.

I've really loved getting to know the Furlers again as adults. I know them because we share history; I know where they come from and where they've been. But it's like starting the next book in the series when we hang out as adults: the characters are all the same, the history is still there, but our characters have continued to grow and change as our families have grown and changed. I will always love Sarah, and she'll always be one of my closest friends, as we add years and kids to our lives. And it's fun to get to know Em as an adult, to catch up on a few thingsI might have missed because I was just a little older, and to see her as a mom and wife, especially as we're both at home with our kids.

Post Note: No idea what's going on with my font and underlining... Maybe it'll just magically be right again on the next post... Hopefully...

Favorite songs...

I hope you can hear this, totally cute... Starts off with the ABCs, sort of. Then moves on to "the wheels on the bus." Next time you see him, we'll demonstrate in person!

For Gaye...

About a week ago, I was starting to unload a clean dishwasher when Milo toddled over. My first instinct was to sternly say "no!" There were sharp things, breakable things, just stuff I didn't want him getting into. But in the split second that I hesitated, I heard my friend Gaye's voice in my head, talking about how kids just want to be an active, participating member of their community, however that looks. Gaye is a Montessori teacher and administrator, and though Milo's a little young for some of the programing, this basic lesson struck me.

I took out all the knives and anything else that I was really worried about, and then asked Milo to hand me the spoons and forks out of their basket. He handed me 2 or 3 at a time, and I put them away in the drawer. I grabbed the bigger, heavier ceramic plates out of the bottom, and then told Milo to hand me the smaller ones. After we finished the bottom rack, I pulled out the top rack, put away most of the mugs and glasses pretty fast, and then handed Milo his plastic sippy cups and tops. He has two drawers at the bottom that he has free reign in, one with tupperware, and the other with his cups, etc. in it. I told him to stack his cups and put them in his drawer, and he did!

Great reminder for me that 1) I don't always have to say "no," 2) I can make chores a fun task for both of us, 3) Milo and I make a great team, and best of all 4) he's not always set on making messes :)

Foreshadowing.... Hopefully...

Caught the boys testing out their musical talents at Nana and Booka's house over Thanksgiving (we're having a hard time getting videos off our camera, so I know, it's a little belated). One thing that I think my parents did a pretty good job with, but Mike's parents did amazing with was instilling a love for music, both listening and creating. I hope that we can gently do the same. I struggle with how best to do this, but as this shows, maybe it's not really up to me anyways... Nana and Booka, thanks for all your support of Mike and his various musical interests!

Grandma Sue Squared...

Milo got some pretty special lovin' all in one week at the end

of January. Yeah, I'm a little behind in this little online journal, don't you judge me ;) We started out with a quick trip to Columbus to visit Em (Furler) Cotter and sweet Drew. Hee hee, he really is sweet, but I laugh because he just loves to grab Milo's hair in his little mitts. I don't think it actually hurts Milo that much, but I think he's generally surprised when this happens; maybe because hair is such a new development for him ;)

Em's mom, and my 2nd mom growing up, Sue, was also there for a visit for Drew's dedication. Though we've pretty much continually been in touch, I haven't seen Sue in years, for sure since before Milo was born. One of the things I cherish most about our unique relationship with the Furler clan is that it never matters the last time we saw them, it's always the same: comfortable, fun, relaxing, and joyous. Sue is my mom's best friend, Al is my dad's best friend, Em, Sarah, and Laura are some of the best friends we McGrail girls will ever know, and though

we have added to our numbers with husbands and kids, these relationships are still the same, maybe a little different as we fill different roles in our lives, but still as powerful and

meaningful. And Em will be Aunt Em to Milo, and Sue will be Grandma Sue. It's just how it's supposed to be, it's right.

A couple days later, we gathered Grammie Kris and hit the road to Iowa to attend Cousin Sarah's baby shower, got to spend some QT with Nana Steph and Auntie Karen while we were in Ames, and then spent a good couple of days with my

Grandma Sue, Milo's great-grandma. Grandma Sue is another tremendous woman. Her house, though new to our family in the past couple of years, is always like coming home. She has a way of welcoming people into her space

that makes you feel like you've always been there and should always continue to be there. I make myself at home, help myself to coffee and cake for breakfast, and then we giggle that I did so. Though she's my mom's mom, there isn't enough years between all of us to really make that feel relevant; she's funny and kind and sweet and sassy, and she loves my kid. Even when he's a brat at her house, she loves my kid.

To my Grandma Sues: thanks for continuing to be instrumental in my life and my kid's life. Love you so much!

Cute Milo-isms...

Some funny things that Milo has been saying recently:

"Opeley" (open it)

"Da-un-too" (that one too)

"Read it daddy... pleez! More prayer pleez! More prayer! Pleez! Prayers!" (asking Mike to read "The Lord's Prayer Book" over and over and over and over and over...)

"maggets" (magnets)

"Bump head!" (whenever anything falls or bumps anything, aka Milo stubs toe, trucks fall off the table, etc)

"legs legs legs!" (when he wants to walk up mommy's legs and body and stand on her shoulders)

"hiding" (his answer to whenever anything is not readily noticeable, aka the moon is behind the clouds, kitties are in the other room, etc.)

"loud" (any noise that is not talking or music)

"tunes!" (when he wants us to turn on his mp3 player; no we did not buy him that, but Auntie Mandy knows how to give the best gifts!)

"winnow!" (he wants to look out the window)

"crabby happy" (if he's still cranky in the morning, we asked if he's crabby or happy; if he's still crabby, he stays in bed; this is generally his answer, both equally, but sometimes he just walks around saying this to himself)

"applesauce" (for both the actual substance applesauce, and for a book of opposites)

"Llama drama" (either when he's picking out books to read and wants to read "Llama llama" or when he's having a little bit of a fit. Because he'd never be a drama queen. Oh wait, that's another one, "drama queen")

He's also counting to 10, sometimes 12, sometimes counting nothing in particular. And we've been working on spelling his name. Right after I told Mike that he could follow my prompting of "how do you spell your name? M..." he'd follow with "I...L...O!!" he decided to spell his whole name, just to prove mommy wrong. I'm sure I'm forgetting a bunch, but I'm sure we'll add more later...

*Post-Note*

I just figured out another one that's been plaguing Mike for days. Had no idea what he meant when he was running around saying "baygofaygo"? Yeah, didn't you catch it? That means motorcycle. Duh.

Kinda crabby...

We're having a crabby night, but Milo's enthralled with the camera on the computer, so we started playing around a little...

A good night...

Friday nights are a little weird in the Schroeder household, now that Mike's been working nights, but still kinda great. Not your typical Friday night by most people's standards, but I kinda dig 'em. Tonight, we're waiting for "Header" to get here (Auntie Heather), Mike had a little rest, so he'll be good until at least 7pm ;) And Milo and I have just been having a nice easy day hanging together. If Milo had his way, you would sit and read every book on his shelves to you, then we would build a tunnel out of legos or lincoln logs, then we'd read all the books again. Maybe we'd watch an episode of Mickey Mouse if mom was feeling lazy. He's been in a great mood recently, making it easier for me to be home with him, even when my maternal instincts and unconditional love are not particular potent. Right now, after a great meal where the alien kid asked for a second helping of asparagus, Mike's cracking him up stuffing his stuffed green monkey in his sock-monkey lunch box. It's a good night.

I met someone...

Yeah, not what you're thinking, but still pretty exciting. It's still awkward moving as an adult and trying to build a new network. Really having to put yourself out there, almost like you are dating, but dating to find friends. Which is both easier and worse all at the same time. With dating, at least if the person is a total dud, you can say something like, yeah this was fun, but it's just not working out, and probably never see them again. With friends, it's this weird, I'm needy but not too needy, I'm interesting but not self-involved, you need to sell yourself and check the other person out, and without being too selective as to close doors, but not ending up with a bunch of people who suck you dry of any social energy. And unlike dating, or at least dating when you're without child, you do want to try to find people of similar interests and commitments, ie parents, but that in and of itself is a challenge because you either meet them and get to know their life story in the 8.2 minutes your kid is willing to put up with you after library time, or you have to very deliberately put yourself in situations where these conversations might happen wherever you as adults choose to be, ie work, church, etc.

I haven't had great luck up to this point, but Milo was in fine form after Mother Goose Time at the library today, so we stayed and hung out for a couple of minutes. I struck up a conversation with another mom who also just moved to the area from out-of-state, who is also a stay-at-home mom, and who also does not seem crazy or annoying. We're heading to the zoo this weekend, so I mentioned where we were going, we exchanged emails and phone #s, and I think she might really be a friend. She even introduced me to another one of the moms at story time, and thus the networking begins.

It's so funny the thoughts that chase through my head in all of this: am I cool enough, am I a good enough friend that someone will be as excited about meeting me as I am about them, will we have enough in common to keep us going but be different enough so as not to be boring? Will our kids get along? Does that matter, or will we make them get along so we can hang out? How soon do I email her so as not to seem too desperate, but interested enough so that the newness of our meeting doesn't rub off? Did me not taking a shower this morning cause her to doubt my overall hygiene and thus ruin our chances to be kindred spirits? I think I'm a little paranoid. And in all reality, and maybe this is a sad statement of who I have become, but I really am so happy and feel so blessed with all the kindred spirits I've met in my many moves and travels, that I almost feel like I don't need any more. That I have a great many great friends, they just don't happen to be in Toledo. But as I'm here longer and Milo gets older, I think it's important to both of us to make connections and be social. And if not just for us, but for what we can offer, how we can help and serve. If nothing else, listening to the President last night reminds me to be involved, to be a part of a community that binds together, not isolates.

Gotta laugh sometimes...

So 24 hours after talking about how great he is, Milo proceeded to drench me with one of his squirting bath toys tonight. He got himself too, so I'm pretty sure it wasn't on purpose, but on the other hand...

Then in the free-spirit inspiration of the Rohl boys, I let Milo run nakie from his bath to the living room, giggling like a little imp, and he proceeded to pee on the rug. Guess potty training is quite a ways off. Maybe this just fortifies what I said last night, I'm not sure yet ;)

He's the best he's ever been...

I'm sure every parent says this more than once, but I think I like Milo now more than ever. I will always love him, but recently, he's been whining and crabby and sassy, and I wonder why I'm at home with him and why Mike doesn't understand when I need "mommy time." But these past couple of days, he's been a gem.

He's funny, he laughs, he's creative, he's doing more of what he wants to do and not just what I suggest or make him do. And he initiates and associates. For instance, he'll look down the hall and ask, "daddy sleeping?" Mike's working his 1:30am shifts and goes to bed early in the afternoon or evening; Milo sees our door closed and wants to know where his daddy is. I open the laptop, and he asks "Tom Tom? Grammie go? Header [Heather]? Tom Tom?" because we've been skyping with them as they are missing each other. The other day, we were playing in the living room, and he must have heard something outside our door because he looked up and said "Booka Booka... Nana!" (Larry and Steph were here over Christmas and he was still expecting them to walk thru the door again)

He also wants to smell all flowers. The lego flowers, the flowers in his books, the flowers on the inside of my jacket. I'm not sure when this started, but Mike and I were wondering at this abstract sense. I mean really how do you teach smell? He's grasped the concept of hiding: the

moon hides behind the clouds at night, when he can't find his car, it's hiding. He likes to dance to music, make towers, kiss every one of his stuffed animals, and pets Sally and Charlie (the

cats). He makes friends with everyone, playing peek or saying hi or bye, blowing kisses, yeah, he's a ladies' man... (here he is schmoozin' with Miss Polly)

And I love that I can still make him laugh, whether he wants to or not. I know just where to tickle him and he can't help but crack up. I know how to make Mickey Mouse play peek with him that will always crack a smile. We actually communicate now; he talks to me and I respond or vice versa. He can verbalize what he wants or needs and I can respond, not always the response he desires, but he understands. And he loves to walk, and I really do think he was just so frustrated there for a while when he was still a little uncertain on his newly found feet. Amazing what a few words and some confidence can do.

Maybe I like this time because it's finally just a little easier: he's taking epic naps, goes down nicely at night, is healthy and eating a little better, we're all on a better schedule. Whatever it is, I really like him. I get a big ol' smile on my face when I get to go get him out of his crib. I might just have to go oogle him now...