Facades...

I've found that I wear a number of faces depending on my situations, and while journaling and pondering today, I'm posing to you all a question: Facades, good, bad, helpful, or hurtful?

While at work, I try for the happy-go-lucky, interested in everyone, but not too interested, and try not to share too much so that it doesn't come back to bite me, as in recent events. At home, I am mostly myself, but sometimes I do feel the pressure to put on the happy housewife mask, do what I'm asked or told, don't ask for too much, take care of the home, even when I sometimes feel I can barely hold myself together. When I'm with kids, young or mid-adolescent, I put on the vaguely aloof, but cool and entertaining face. When with friends, the easy-going, willing to do almost anything to not be a nuisance mask. With family, the mediator and want everyone to be happy facade.

Not that these are all my faces, nor that any of them are not genuine or not genuinely me, but I am a little different depending on my situation. And I think I've written this in a slightly negative light, not intended, just trying to be truthful with you but more so with me. Is this normal? Do I try to please people so much that I'm not actually me, or am I really just a people pleaser? Does this make me a doormat? How do you be you 100% of the time, even if you don't always like who you are? When is change helpful, and when is it just conforming?

Tissues and teabags...

It's the 11th of April and this is what I saw when I open the shades this morning. And it's still flurrying now as I sit surrounded by the shrapnel of my cold. Convenient in that I am off, but also inconvenient because I am off, this season's cold has set in. I drink my tea, take my sugar-free vitamin C drops, and litter the apartment with breadcrumb trails of tissues. Okay, so it's not that bad, but it is one of those colds that no matter how many liquids you ingest, all the liquid from your body seems to be leaking from your nose, leaving your mouth and throat parched and scratchy. Much to Mike's chagrin, I have left off picking up our bedroom now littered with at least three trips' worth of laundry and suitcases, to sit in front of the computer for the afternoon catching up on shows online. Mike and I enjoy just a couple, and I never seem to have a consistant schedule, but the networks have found this ingenius way to keep you hooked: show whole episodes online for free. That way, we never miss anything, and never want to miss anything, because we can always see everything. I feel a little pathetic, sniffling my way thru another cup of tea, hunched in front of Mike's massive moniter with two felines curled up on the down comforter on my lap, but I do enjoy the freedom from the schedule of the TV. Plus, on a day when you generally feel crummy, inside and out, it's nice to have a distraction.

Iowa Easter...

Mike and I headed south for Easter this past weekend, my aunt lives outside of Des Moines, and this seems to be a pretty good spot to meet up with the Indy McGrails/Rohls. Three out of the four cousins are back in the area as well, two of those three married with kids. So with Mike and I, Mom and Dad, Heather, Kate, James and Finn, Aunt Barb and Uncle Marv, cousin Leah, cousin Adam, his wife Kelly, their new son Jacob, cousin Luke, his wife Katie, and their almost one-year-old daughter Ava, it was a pretty full house on Saturday when we all gathered for dinner! Enough words, how about some pictures...?Here's Mom, Finn, Aunt Barb, and cousin Leah. I swear, that poor kid didn't have a moments rest the whole time he was there. Mom and Aunt Barb both love grandbabies! Isn't he getting huge?!?
Here's Aunt Bard with baby Jacob, who's going on about 2 months now. He's such a sweetheart, slept hard most of the time we saw him. I love this picture of grandma and baby, the lighting's so cool, they both just look so serene and snuggly.
Cousins Ava and Finn... Trying to figure out whether the other is a threat to their turf... They've met before, they're only about a week apart, and almost polar opposites! Ava is progressing rapidly, pretty much walking, for sure toddling from one balancing post to the next, talks a bit, incoherantly of course, but has much to say, is very active and interested in lots of toys and noises. Finn sits back, takes it all in, scoots backwards if he really wants to move somewhere, grunts and growls (typical boy), and is really happy with tupperware and large leggos. They're a pair, it'll be fun to watch them grow into themselves!
Cousin Adam, wife Kelly, and sweet Jacob. Took this one at an angle so kinda tricky to post... Such a cute family! They've just moved back to Des Moines from Chicago and added a new member to the family all at one time!
Cousin Luke, wife Katie, and cute Ava! Ava's loving this new Dora something-or-other that Grandma Barb, er... the Easter Bunny left her in her basket. One more of the cute little guy... honestly, who can get enought of him? He's really growing, I miss seeing all these guys more often...