Milo and Jude's Excellent Adventure: Days 3-8

Convincing Kayla that brothers aren't all bad;
they didn't know if they were having a boy or girl 

Slowly but surely I will get all this recorded!  After staying with the Cotters, we hit the road Sunday morning in time to get to our church in Toledo, OH.  Actually, we were a couple minutes late, but hey, I think we did pretty good.  On the way from Columbus, Milo talked about seeing Miss Jackie and Kayla, and then totally fixated on our friends' kids Isaac and Eddie: were they going to be in Sunday School, was he going to get to play with them, were we going to there house?!?  Yes, Eddie was in Sunday School, though he didn't get to go to their house.

After church, we mingled and saw so many missed friends, too many to mention for sure, but Jude and Milo both kinda melted down, Jude was tired, Milo had a nasty run-in with a dollhouse in Sunday School and had a pretty good scrape up his leg, so with the beloved assistance of Miss Sarah and Miss Miriam, we made it to our car and headed to Miss Jackie and Kayla's house.

Thank you Bryan!!

As some of you may remember, I referenced Jackie in an earlier post about the art of "dating" a new friend.  And she's a winner.  Now one of my closest friends, we shared in each other's lives at a crucial point after randomly meeting at a toddler library time.  She was exactly what I needed and I hope I gave to her in a similar way.  And Kayla and Milo are months apart, and now Jude and Claire are also months apart.  Can we say double arranged marriages?  ;)  Milo and Jude took short rests while Jackie and I caught up, and her sweet husband Bryan fixed us an amazing roasted chicken dinner from his British roots complete with Yorkshire pudding!  Yum!  At the time, Jackie was very pregnant with Claire, and it was so fun to share once again with this new stage in life, me with Jude and her preparing for Claire.

Sunday evening, Mike and I's small group from church got together a potluck dinner and spoiled me and the boys with attention, great food, and lots of love.  Mike and I both miss this great group of people, and though we only spent a few precious months with them, we feel like they are family.  Amazing what busting into the Word will do for deepening relationships quickly and effectively.

Singing with Brother Hammond at Arts Camp

And from that night on, we spent our sleeping hours, and quite a few waking hours too, with the Trumbull family.  My sweet friend and mentor Sue, the children's minister at our church, sort of took me under her wing while I was there, and I am forever grateful for her attention and friendship.  Sue opened doors for ministry options for me while I was there, but most importantly to me, just spoke kind, wise words into my life.  And Sue's family, her amazing husband Mike, and her quality 4 kids, made my visit to Toledo unforgettable!  Together, along with countless other souls, worked our little tails off at Sue's brainchild, Arts Camp, where our church partnered with the intercity Toledo Y to teach and expose kids to all kinds of great forms of art; this year they had the incredible opportunity to see an actual potter throw pots, try their hands at painting, drawing, singing, general creating, pottery, drumming, all while hearing the Gospel at every turn.  Ask me some time to expand and tell you more, but for now, I want to tell you about the Trumbulls in all this.

A drum corp came in and taught the kids
and brought enough drum sets for everyone
to actually play, even the leaders :)

Sue is the head honcho: she does it all, sees it all, and hilariously, needs to know about all (try surprising her for her birthday Tuesday that week, but nosey leader that she is... :) Mike, in and amongst working full-time, did a little bit of everything, but was a huge part in allowing me to be part of this whole thing.  Sue let me be a "leader" meaning I was ultimately in charge of a group of 10-15 kids, sometimes more, sometimes less.  Oh yeah, and I had 12 wk old Jude with me, nursing, bjorned and sometimes napping, sometimes in the nursery, but mostly with me.  So Mike and also her amazingly mature and fantastic daughter Jessica were with me, leading these kids, bonding with them, keeping them in line, but also making sure they were having an incredible time.  Her oldest son Daniel was also a leader in another group, Andrew came up with projects for and taught painting everyday to all of the approximately 100 kids there, and Nathan  also helped lead groups.  Her whole family was there from start to finish every day, and then went home to laugh and tell stories.  Tuesday night, Sue's birthday, we ended up staying up until well past midnight, opening gifts, them telling hilarious family stories, and cutting out these amazingly intricate shoes for kids to use in a painting project in Andrew's classes the next day.  Ridiculous side note: all of Sue's kids are incredible with children, but the two oldest boys have this thing with babies and were just lovin' on Jude.  That Tuesday night, Daniel rocked Jude to sleep, and then just sat holding him in his lap for about 2 hours while we all chatted; Jude slept until 5am the next morning, thank you Daniel-voodoo!  There's nothing like staying with a family to really see them for what they are, and I'm only sorry that it took us moving halfway across the country for me to know all of them like that.  I miss the whole family and hope any of them come see us sometime.

Kendra's daughter Layla sharing her beloved
giraffe with Jude

Where was Milo in all this, you ask?  He stayed in Toledo Sunday and Monday, then Monday night, Sue and I and the boys (the only time during the week Sue and I could actually get real face-time) drove down into IN and met up with my dad.  Heather, Dad, and Mom rotated Milo patrol and working so that he wouldn't have so many long days and nights at church.  Considering all he went through in the weeks to come, I think this was good; he got some QT with the 3 of them, and I didn't feel so guilty.

While in Toledo, when not at Arts Camp, I also got to catch up with my gardening guru friend Alison, my dear kindred spirit Kendra from church, and Eddie and Isaac and their parents Blythe and Pete.  I miss all of these friends more than I ever anticipated when we moved to Toledo.  Who knew I would make such strong bonds in such a short time.  I love all these people, and as with the Trumbulls, only hope and pray that they might find their ways to our area of the country so we might love on them as they have loved on us.


Thursday was a tough day for Jude at Arts Camp, and though we had planned to stay for dinner and the closing program that night, we hit the road earlier to head to IN.  After getting there and getting the boys to bed, went through and repacked and shuffled everything in our car so Dad could leave in my car at about 4am on Friday to drive it to the Des Moines Airport.  At about 7am Friday morning, Heather drove Mom and me with Milo and Jude to the Indy Airport to fly to Seattle, WA to hook up with the Cudas for a couple of days.  But that's the next part of this adventure!

Milo and Jude's Excellent Adventure: Days 1 & 2...

As many of you may know since we saw so many of you over the past 4+ weeks, me and the boys took off on a grand adventure to see most of the country and our loved ones who are spread out far and wide.  I didn't really have the time or energy to keep blogging while we were on the road, so I'll try and summarize here for the boys to read back thru when they're older.

Day 1: our biggest day driving, Cary, NC to Westerville, OH to visit the Cotters.  We left at about noon on Friday, July 13 for this 490 mile leg of the journey.  The boys were pretty much troopers the vast majority of the day.  We made stops for nursing Jude, gas & potty breaks, and to stretch our legs.  I had packed healthy snacks for us to avoid having to try and handle 2 kids in restaurants, and this worked great. When we did stop, I spread out a blanket on whatever grassy nook we could find at the gas station or rest area where we stopped, and we ate and stretched and enjoyed the beautiful day.  Until about the 9th hour.  Literally.  Both boys decided they had had enough and took turns screaming, Milo while holding his hands over his ears yelling at me to "Give him his plug!  Give him his nook!!"  Fortunately, we only had about an hour left, so after trying whatever I could, I just let them yell.

Things that I learned on this leg of the trip:  plan as best as you can, and then roll with it.  Sometimes an infant just doesn't want to nurse in the car, and with kid #2 I care less and less about whipping them out sitting outside.  With screaming kids, and this seems counter-intuitive, but thanks to a tip from Kate I tried this and it did eventually work, pump up some music.  This helps to drown out their howling so mom doesn't go crazy, and it actually seems to give them something to listen to so they often stop screaming.  With Jude, he finally went to sleep with Alison Krause and Robert Plante blasting.  And only stay with friends at this stage in life who won't judge you.



And with this last statement I give a huge shout out to Em, Logan, and Drew who put up with me, Milo, and Jude for about 36 hours.  Even though I was a crazy single parent post 11 hours in the car, they graciously hosted us, shared meals with us, Logan even let Milo take turns with Drew jumping all over him in the pool.  Drew was quite infatuated with Jude, as he apparently is with all babies.  Here's a great pick of him giving Jude his nook :)  Em and I chatted during naps or when boys were playing nicely, and I continue to be grateful for this renewed friendship.  Em and I really have gotten re-aquainted as adults since knowing each other as kids our whole lives.  When we moved to Toledo, we took turns hauling our boys back and forth, and I love her now more than I ever have.  She is a beautiful, wise, gentle, hilarious, and godly woman that I'm so thankful to know.

Space school...

In honor of Milo's love of space right now, and for his 3rd birthday party:  

Before...

And after... (filled with goodies and ready to be whacked!) 

Milo's new favorite thing...

Happy Jude...

Visitors...

Though most of our family doesn't live within 4 states of us, they're all pretty great travelers, which means we got lots of visitors after Jude was born:  Kris and Tom (Grammie and TomTom), Steph and Larry (Nana and Booka), Kristi, Jason, and Collin (Mike's sister, husband, and their 2yo son), Mandy and Allie (my oldest sister and her youngest at about 4 mod), and Heather (my next older sister).  All of them were very gracious visitors, overlooking any mess or uncleanliness, and super helpful to the over-tired new parents :)  Here are some fun snapshots of the gang, not in the right order:

Getting some vitamin D with Grammie :)

 TomTom is thumbs up!

 Knowing Nana's voice...

 That Booka's a funny guy!

 Hanging with cousin Allie; so close in age, only about 4 months apart.

 Auntie Kristi with all the boys! Nice smarmy smile, Milo, jeez.

 Snugglin' with Uncle Jason.

 That's all of us (Mike's taking the picture) at Pullen Park, riding the train.  Jude's even there in the Bjorn with me.

 Riding the carousel at Pullen Park with Nana...

 ...and Kristi and Collin.

 We hate our deck, can you tell?  Every other picture is out there :)  Steph and Kristi with my boys.

 Climbing on a caboose with Auntie Heather!

Sorry Jude, you were stuck in the stroller for this one...

On being potty wise...

I think there is a credible book with this same title, but I'm learning that with Milo, we're a trial-and-error type of family.  He's not potty trained yet, but we're having some success, but I'd really like to tell you about how our reward system has come about.

Mike and I agreed that we just wanted this to be a positive experience for Milo, no guilt, no yelling, no frustration, just as much encouragement as we could muster.  We let him pick out his own potty, we got the stickers, he picked out his own underwear, and as people told us rewards worked for them, Milo seemed interested in M&Ms.  Perfect, I had a bunch of mini-M&Ms in the cupboard from baking.  The first couple of times, we got him to sit on his potty, but no action.  Then a success.  Then failures.  Then another success, and with it I produced the promised chocolate bits.  As I was giving them to him, Milo said he wanted to flush them down the toilet.  Uh, buddy, you can eat these, they're chocolate, you like chocolate, remember?  No, I just want to flush them down the potty.  Uh, are you sure, they're very tasty? Just want to flush them down the potty.  Okay.  And down they went, and he seemed equally pleased with himself as if he had gotten to eat them.  Only problem, then he wanted to know where they went.  Sorry kiddo, they're gone.  And since then, M&Ms weren't enticing at all.  But marshmallows, that's the way to get that kid to pee on command.

Gold medal in the family :)

I know him as Dad, my boys know him as TomTom, you all probably just know him as Tom, but as of last week, he is a gold medalist.  I know, the Olympics haven't started yet, different arena.  Not sure if most of you know this or not, but my dad's a pretty smart guy.  Recently a product that he's been leading the development of won a pretty significant and prestigious award in the biomedical community that you can read about here.  There's even a fun little video of dad describing it on King's website so you can learn a little more about his life with the video laryngoscope.  He doesn't always get much recognition in his circles, so here's a shout out on this meager stage to one of the best men I know.  Dad, I'm so proud of you!  And if I could tell the world how great you are, not only at your paying gig, but in day-to-day life, I would, but this will have to suffice for now.  Love you!  

Things of note regarding Jude...

Some things I want to remember about Jude from these first couple of weeks:

 -His nose is not quite symmetrical; not sure if he's going to grow out of this or not, so I want to remember that
-He's a super traveler already. We drove about 3 1/2 hours to Kastrounis' in VA this weekend, and he slept the whole way both ways
-He'll sleep any time, any where: Monster Truck show, Navy jets flying over head, brother screaming in the room, Dad playing loud music, whatever, he seems unfazed
-He really likes to be awake between the hours of 3-5am; after feeding in this time, he is bright eyed and bushy tailed, much to my chagrin
-He's not a big crier unless really provoked, aka really hungry, swaddled esp. tightly by Dad, etc. Instead he wuffles, grunts, coos, and sighs, and depending upon the urgency of these noises indicates his mood. Not gonna lie, I don't miss crying, esp. at night. I also think this will mean a higher likelihood of success when we try to put Jude in the crib in Milo's room. Yup, they're going to share a room if we can make it work; Milo's a good sleeper, and Jude isn't making much noise so far.
-He has this beautiful, smooth, dark hair that kinda swirls on his head and down his cheeks into little sideburns I hope that this laid-back attitude with life sticks with him, and whether it's his nature or Mike and I being a bit more confident, I hope he stays flexible. Maybe not doormat-ish, but flexible.

New addition...

Good Grief!!

Our super neighbors have struck again! I think I mentioned in our last post about the garden and such that our neighbors to the south of us, specifically Tom and his son Chris who lives 2 doors down, have been taking care of our lawn since it started growing this spring. We tried to pay them, tell them we can do it, though we haven't exactly procured a lawn mower yet. Mike's usually working or asleep when all this happens, and in my current condition, aka that of a whale, haven't felt like I could go try and take over the mower.

Finally, today, Mike was home and awake, and we heard the roar of Tom's mower. Mike jumped up and leaving a pleading son behind, who really wanted to go help Daddy and Mr. Tom, and went to see what kind of partnership Tom was willing to deal. I placated Milo, explaining that when he got a little big, Daddy would definitely let him help mow the lawn. Mike took over on the push mower, and Tom went to get the riding mower. And Milo and I sat on the deck, Milo shouting encouraging things and checking to see how everyone was feeling today. Seems like all was working quite nicely, hopefully cutting Tom's time down, and Mike gratefully participating. After all the major mowing was done, Tom pulled up and asked discreetly if Milo would like to take a ride, and I only grinned. Milo, do you want to take a ride on Mr. Tom's tractor? YEAH!! Yes please? YES PLEASE!!! And away they went, around and around, to the front yard and back plenty of times. Tom even let Milo steer for a bit, and every time they rounded the house, Milo's face about busted with the huge grin plastered on it.

Thanks, Tom. Thanks for being so humbly helpful, for making us feel like part of your family, and for loving our kid like he's your own grandson!

Friday the 13th...

Tomorrow is Mike's birthday. He's a tricky one because he's not really a gift person, and I love to give gifts. Not that he doesn't appreciate them, it's just not what really gets to him. Plus this year, he really wanted a new grill, so we splurged on a really nice one, and we're calling that his birthday present, though arguably we're all going to benefit profusely from his birthday present.

And though I'd love to take Milo shopping and have him pick something out for Mike, as you'll see, his tastes are very limited and a bit selfishly motivated. So Mike, this post is for you.

We've had our ups and our downs, but the past few months have been great. Maybe it's the new baby, maybe it's your new job and the new location, I don't know, but you've shown yourself well. You do all the ugly jobs that I really don't want to do, the trash, the cat box, cleaning out the tube on the vacuum when it gets clogged. You change nasty diapers without batting an eye, well you do inform me how many wipes it required, but that's a helpful measuring tool :) You don't make me feel bad when I snore so loud that you don't get your nap. You're working so hard at your job, making sure we're taken care of, you're taking better care of yourself than you ever have, making sure we'll be taken care of for a very long time. And our kid becomes more and more enamored with you with each passing day. Yeah, he's a momma's boy, but daddy's more fun, more likely to get down and play, more likely to be suckered into giving him what he wants, but still snuggly.

This one's for you, Daddy. We love you.

If this is southern hospitality...

When we moved into our rental house in NC in November, we were immediately welcomed by all our neighbors. Literally within moments of the moving van pulling into the driveway, we had Roger from across the street over to say hi and introduce himself. Following within the next few hours were Ethelyn who lives next door, her son Chris who lives two houses down, Sue and Dave who live across the street, and Ned from next door on the other side made friends with my mom, giving her helpful hints with the crazy roads in our town.

And really it hasn't changed. Periodically, Sue comes over with a new batch of books that her daughter has found or cleaned out, always perfect for Milo. Roger's family, his wife Norita and their daughter Marcie always watch out for us when we're gone, pulling our garbage cans back or helping us figure out the recycling schedule. Ethelyn and Tom, who watch their grandson Christian who's just a little older than Milo, come find us on a regular basis, show us great parks, take us to the best Christmas lights, bring me cut flowers from their lawn, and invite and escort us to their church functions. And Ned and his wife Lisa, who put up quite the impressive Christmas light display, are a wealth of information on the area, BBQs, and all-around nice folks who love on Milo like nobody's business. And both Ned & Lisa and Tom & Ethelyn have seriously talked to us about being back-up plans for us if I go into labor early to take care of Milo. The crazy thing is, I know they're serious. We've known these people about 5 months, and they want to be our "family" when we expand in the next couple of weeks.

But the ante has been upped. I'm not sure if they're all taking pity on us because I'm getting so huge or because of Mike's crazy work schedule, but I have been flabbergasted a few times recently by their generosity and giving. Tom from next door has now taken to mowing our lawn, which usually also includes blowing off our driveway and front steps. And he just waves it off whenever we try to thank him, though he has taken a few frosty ones from Mike; Mike's gone with Tom and Chris to their church's Pub Ministry a couple of times :) Ethelyn and Tom also took Milo, along with their 2 grandkids to the park one morning when I had a doctor's appointment. Then Ethelyn shows up the other day with this perfect mint plant, telling me that hers is growing out of control and would I please take some.

In and amongst this, Ned shows up one afternoon offering to use his rototill to get us a little garden going, saying that a few years back, one of the families that lived in this house had one over by the deck. I tried to say not to worry about us, but he was very persuasive, and deep down, I think he knew I wanted it. So he convinced me, and about 10 minutes later he's got a couple of rows plowed for us. I chatted with him for a bit about what we might try to grow, and what Milo and I had some success with in Toledo. And then I thanked him profusely. This weekend, Ned, Lisa, and their 2 adult daughters were out planting their gardens, and Lisa yells over the fence that they'll be over to plant ours in a few minutes. What?!? They start to tell me that they got a better deal on their plants by buying a few extra for us! Ned even remembered what kind of tomatoes I said that I liked! So the four of them came over and planted our garden for us, even working with Milo a bit to get him in the dirt. Then Lisa disappears for a minute and comes back with this pig watering can for Milo, which is now one of his favorite things, and he pretty much wants to water anything and everything every day with it.

Kate and I frequently joke that our main motivating emotion in life is guilt, and I have to admit, I do feel guilty. Guilty that I have hardly anything to offer these beautiful people. Guilty that maybe I'm not grateful enough. Guilty for taking so much generosity. And yet they keep on giving, saying things like they're glad that we're here; apparently the last few renters haven't been the cream of the crop, but not like Mike and I are so fantastic, we're just not criminals :) I guess this is one of those times when I'll have to follow some more good advice from sweet Amy J, "take what you need, give what you can," and just find some ways to give back to these marvelously generous people.

Simple things = Great evening...

Mike's working nights, I'm feeling large and rotund, and Milo and I have to find ways to A) enjoy the great weather here in NC, B) burn some energy in his little 2.5yo body, C) not make mommy move too much or wear on her frayed hormonal nerves, and D) do all of the above while not waking daddy. Tonight was great success.

After naps, me and Milo, we said goodnight to Mike, packed the bare essentials, diapers, water, wipes, cars, and headed out. Hit the McDonald's drive-thru for nuggets, fries, burger, and Shamrock shake. Don't judge me, I'm pregnant, and the kid ate asparagus in his eggs for breakfast, so we both earned a little treat. We drove just a little farther down the road to a great park that we've frequented a bit recently, and for the next 2 hours, I found places to perch, and Milo played his heart out. He found a couple kids to buddy with for short periods of time, but mostly moved from one activity to the next, and I followed slowly behind.

I really like this park for most things, though not ideal for playdates because inevitably kids want to do all different activities at all different times which means no really chatting time for us parents, but when it's just me and Milo or me, Mike, and Milo, it's perfect; pretty much fenced in, lots of things to do, enough space but not too much, and even a great path to walk if the playground gets too busy. I'm learning the fine balance of knowing where my kid is but not hovering, letting him try things I'm not sure he can do but being there if he asks for help, and chatting with random adults close by. I've actually met a couple of great moms this way and hung out with them again, and a couple of people that I might not need to talk to again, but it's adult conversation, and my introverted self is not winning and turning me into a hermit.

Schroeder cousin time...

A few weeks ago now, M cubed got to hit the beach, VA Beach that is, with the Kastrounis clan. Nice time of romping with the boys, hanging out with Kristi and Jason, and just some QT. Nice to be so close to them these days, we look forward to more weekends of cousin time!