The Dude abides...

Though I haven't seen the Big Lebowski, this seems ridiculously appropriate for Jude.  Maybe because we always called Milo, Milo Man, so when Jude came along he needed a label too, so it was naturally Jude the Dude.  Before we knew anything about his personality, he was The Dude.  And he abides.  As he has grown in his personality, it works.  He abides.

Mostly, he's not terribly worked up about anything, which for a 1-year-old who doesn't really speak, is pretty impressive.  You put him on the floor with a few toys or interesting things to check out, and he just chills.  Put him in a room full of strangers, and though he'll recognize my absence, he'll flirt his way into the hearts of anyone interested.  We've started to use baby-gates to block the downstairs, mostly because I don't want him to meander over there and just fall down, not because I worry about him trying stairs on his own; he's totally happy seeing the blockades and playing within the boundaries.  We've never had a hard time dropping him in nursery at church, and aside from trying to recover him from his journey up north with Grammie and TomTom, he's happy with whomever he's with.

When he does recognize something he wants, he rubs his belly, his version of rubbing his chest, the sign for "please."  He used to sign "more" for everything, but now he's more civilized, and I think recognized that people though "please" was cuter than "more" and thus responded more promptly.  His sign for "thank you" and blowing a kiss are very similar, but really, the meanings aren't too far off.  

 He's started scooting in the last couple of weeks, vastly delayed on the developmental charts at the doctor's office.  He's thinking about pulling up, but has no interest in taking any steps, and mostly I think it's because he's pretty happy where he's at.  He abides.  I observe younger siblings everywhere trying with great frustration to keep up with big brother or sister, and Jude really doesn't seem to care.  Don't get me wrong, he loves Milo, thinks he's hilarious, and does generally want whatever Milo has, but more so because I think he's tuned into what big brother does and wants to take part.  Not because he wants to keep up with him, but because he wants to be a part of the fun.

When I tucked Milo in tonight, Jude was still awake.  I told Milo to be quiet and not rile Jude up, but I could already hear Jude giggling: he knew Milo was there, and that's great.  He shares the space of their bedroom with his brother; he gets to take part.  And though Milo doesn't always see things the same way, I know he feels it too.  When Jude was with Grammie and TomTom, as much as he liked having Mike and me to himself, he told me he missed Jude, especially at night when "who was going to sleep with him?"  I'm so glad that my boys are already friends, I literally prayed for this while waiting in a delivery room at the hospital the morning Jude was born.

That crazy song...

Our neighbor gave the boys an unprovoked gift a few days ago, a CD of scripture to music.  It's a little kidish, but catchy, and there's one song on there that Milo loves, that he calls the Crazy Song because it's really repetitive.  Oddly enough, he wants to listen to it over and over and over and over again.  It's II Thessalonians 3:13, and it says "I will never tire of doing what is good."

Huh, I do tire of doing what is good.  Most of the time I quit doing good long before I tire of it.  Maybe that's how I turned into a mom that yells.  I never wanted to become a mom who yelled, but especially my eldest really pushes my buttons, asking questions all the time to which he already knows the answer, needing help for doing things I know he's totally capable of doing, whining {insert "whining-slash" in my mom's voice}, saying things like "then I'll do nothing" with the snottiest attitude, literally throwing himself on the floor when he doesn't get his way, crying alligator tears over stepping on the toys that he himself has strewn all over the floor, expecting things from Jude that I expect from him, wanting me to hold him, all the time.

As a regular human, I am incapable of following all these interactions with doing what is good.  I can't even muster doing what is neutral or negligibly not wrong, aka yelling.  I guess that's why I really shouldn't expect to do it on my own.

Last Suppers...

Milo says goodbye to Ms. Jackie and buddy Kayla :(

Been noticing recently that significant people have been moving in and out of our lives on an annoyingly regular basis.  My friend Blythe once said that it was her fault that we moved from OH to NC because her good friends always move away, and I'm starting to recognize this phenomena.  Ours has a slightly different caveat, several of my friends flee the country.

Though it makes me sad, I am eternally grateful for the season we shared with them, the ways in which they walked thru life with us, loved on our kids, the memories we have shared, and the many, many unique places we now have people to stay with when we travel.

Ms. Carolyn with Annie, Jude's first crush ;)

With one family who recently was relocated to Germany for the dad/husband's work for at least 3 years, I had the privilege to share a meal with them right before they left.  As we sat on their deck sharing this supper, Nathan made the observation that this was the last dinner in their house before they left.  I was struck by this, the somberness of the moment, the finality of it, but the great significance as well.  Nathan and Angela are almost singularly responsible for our current NC family, aka our church.  The first time we visited the church, while I was in the bathroom changing a diaper, Nathan started chatting easily and naturally with Mike.   As many of you know, Mike's not a social butterfly, so this manly conversation amongst scientists was a winning moment for him; we could and did belong here with this easy family of friends.  This family would fill needs that our long-distant blood-family simply couldn't due to geography.  This family would demonstrate what it means to be brothers and sisters in the Father.

Other friends have come and gone in miraculously timely moments as needs have arisen or as other friends have been called elsewhere; Jackie and our perfectly-timed sabbatical in OH who was walking thru an amazingly similar time and situation in life, then sweet Carolyn provided ridiculous love and support during a particularly sensitive time for me before she had to move home to PA.  Just as she was moving, I met my gracious Eunice who continued that loving support and friendship.  Eunice has just moved home to Korea, and I'm anxious to see what's in store for me now.  And then there's Suzanne, the mom I randomly met touring Milo's school, who's son is now Milo's BFF.  Everything covered before I know what to ask for.

Sweet Eunice!

But with all these supplications come the bitter-sweet final suppers.  We'll hold on to the memories, look forward to trips to spend time together again, skype when we can, stalk them on FB, and enjoy the visits whenever the happen, like Sarah and Alex and Blythe and Pete in the past 10 days.  Thanks friends.  We love and miss you, but will always celebrate with you whenever we can!