A revelation...

So I was just writing to an old Wheaton friend of mine, and I think I was finally able to verbalize something that I haven't been able to until this point. And I don't think it's anything terribly profound, but it's just so true to me right now, looking back on the ease of my faith in college. And I thought I would share it with you...

"Anyways, nice to hear from you, again. Been missing my Wheaties recently... Have dealt with a couple of things this past year and not going to lie, my faith has suffered. Still love God, desperately even now, but man, his people can really mess you up. We are going to a great church, but we're not real active in anything. It's funny though, sometimes I almost feel more effective as a witness, the less holy I am. That's probably a good and a bad thing, but the best I can do right now. Many of the gang that I work with are not Christians, one even fairly atheistic Jew, but the spiritual talks are abundant and not forced. But all that to say, I still miss the easy support that a place like Wheaton offered. That people like you always offered, thanks for that..."

That thanks goes out to all of you out there too, who have always been such easy support. And when I say easy, I mean not forced, gently and naturally given, with great love. So my question for all of you, my easy supporters, how do I move on, how do I without cynicism and with much grace, move on from that which has been, into a new season, one of more deliberate faith, of more active faith, when I still hurt and flinch in the presence of other Christians?

Twinkle Lights...

I don't know if it's just getting past Black Friday or what, but after all was said and done this weekend, I was actually in the mood to put up Christmas stuff!! I decided to do a real tree this year, but we weren't actually sure what the ruling was in the apartment building we live in, so we got a potted Norfolk pine! I love him!! Mom, he's just like Maurice, so we call him MJ, Maurice Junior. And I love the whole snowflake thing, so I put up my snowflake lights. Hope you all are getting to enjoy the holiday pre-season :) We're even getting pretty cold here all of a sudden, -14 with the wind chill today, ew. Here's what our living room looks like, and I'm not quite done, but I kinda like the simplicity of just the lights and greens. Maybe I will be done... We'll see. And you all, come see!

Heather Feather...

I am thinking about my older sister nearest in age to me today. As I sit and drink coffee and eat my Ezekiel bread, I think about her... Let me introduce you to her, if you don't know her already.

Heather Feather, Mary Marie McGrail. Okay, so her given name is Heather Mary McGrail, the others are a few nicknames she's received along the way. Heather is 4 years older than me. She has her masters in English, with quite a concentration in linguistics, literature, and an unnatural eye and ear for grammar. She thinks about a PhD, but isn't there yet. She has lived in Iowa, NY, Missouri, NJ, Illinois, Minnesota, Indiana, Oregon for a summer, and now South Korea. She has written two novels, but hasn't let anyone read either, grrrrrranimals. She did let me, many years ago, read one of her short stories, and I will always remember it; it was memorable for a couple of reasons: I'm not going to lie, it was a bit morbid, but even more so, it read like something I would read in my AP English class in high school. She has a way with words, not in a snobby way, though sometimes I do feel the pressure to use really big words around her, and occasionally I need a dictionary to translate her sentences, but in that way that if someone were to narrate your life, she could do it better than you.

She notices things around her in a way that I do not. She sees things in people that I do not see. I think it's the artist in her; yeah, did I mention she also an artist? She can draw and paint, she's done ridiculously amazing things with beads. If any of you are ever in our apartment, she did the pencil drawing of the curly-haired guy in our office.

And now she is in South Korea. She had tossed around the idea of teaching overseas for a little while, and then one day, just decided to do it. After some snags along the way, South Korea it was. She's been there since the middle of August, and I think of her whenever I call "home" on my cell phone because "Heather" comes right before "home."

Heather is a bit of a home body; she's a caregiver and a taker-carer. Because of this, I think she's missing home a bit more than usual right now. This is one of my favorite qualities of my sister: she knows how to completely care for you. The best way to explain this to you is with a little anecdote:

When I was working with the church up in Duluth, and I feel like I've told this story before, but stick with me. I had the brilliant idea to borrow my parent's RV and take a bunch of the high school juniors and seniors on a college-hunting trip. But we wouldn't waste our time on any colleges that were close enough for them to visit with their parents, no we would go to Chicago, a couple of places in Michigan, and one in Indiana. We hit five colleges in three states in about 48 hours before we headed to my parents' in Indianapolis for a night's rest before trucking back to Duluth, a mere 11 hours away. Oh yeah, and I was the only "adult" and driver with about half a dozen students. By the time we hit Mom and Dad's, I was pooped, to say the least. Mom and Dad were gone, somewhere, but Heather met us there, in the driveway, had snacks and soda out for the gang, had places for everyone to sleep, had a cozy fire going in the fireplace, and just took over. At heart, I really am an introvert, and I was drained; Heather seemed to just know that. She told the gang where to go to find anything and everything, had beds set up, got me some hot cider to drink, and tucked me into bed. She made us breakfast the next morning, gave me lots of loving and encouragement, and sent us home, refreshed and ready for the drive.

This is just how Heather is: humbly just caring. Heather, wish you were here drinking coffee with me, or I was there eating sushi with you, but know that you are well loved and missed, and we'll be seeing you, and I'll bet the time between now and then will fly.

Linus has a lump...

For those of you who don't know, Mike and I have two Siamese cats. We started with Linus, who someone had left behind at the apartment complexes that Kate had been working at the summer Mike and I got married. Mike hadn't enjoyed cats up to that point, in fact enjoy is a little soft, he didn't really like cats at all. And Linus won him over. Linus lets Mike pile driver him and body slam him, Linus lets him hold him on his back in the shape of a bean. Linus hides in our suitcase when we try to pack to go on trips. He grunts a little when he has to jump too high or pretty much whenever he jumps down from anything. He really enjoys marshmallows. And he really likes to be vacuumed.

When we lived in our house in Duluth, he'd have these random spurts of energy where he'd start in the basement, come bounding up the steep basement steps, slip and slide like a cartoon character across the wood floor thru the kitchen, into the living room, where he'd then lead the first five steps, grapple up the rest of the steps, race around upstairs before he'd finally be satiated. This is especially funny when you've realized the normal pace of anything for Linus is less than slow.

One afternoon, again when we were in our house in Duluth, we had left for a quick trip to the grocery store, or something, had come back within an hour, and as we pulled up the driveway, there was Linus hanging, head first, out of the kitchen window. We hadn't remembered that we had left that window, the only screen-less one in the house, open. Our other cat, Sally had escaped first and went to hide under a bush, and Linus had thought this was a good idea, but changed his mind just a little too late. There he hung, his entire body out the window, with just his two back feet clinging to the window sill, until we came and grabbed him.

So a few weeks ago, we noticed Linus had a bit of a lump on the right side of his head, about the size of a grape. We were a little nervous, but not too worried, and because Linus becomes Dr. Jekyll when we take him to the vet, we decided to wait a little bit and see what happened. It, of course grew quite large fairly fast. Mike took Linus in to just have the vet look at him. Linus wouldn't even let the nice man close enough to have a good look. The vet offered to put him under, give him a proper exam, and then biopsy the now ping-pong-sized mass on the side of his head, just under his ear.

We accepted this offer, made Linus fast for 12 hours, he was a very unhappy kitty, to say the least, and took him in again. As I walked into the office with the growling and spitting cat carrier, the receptionist recognized our little angel by sound alone. I received the all-okay call a couple of hours later, went back to pick him up, was informed that he was a little crabby and would be groggy for a while, but he came thru pretty well. The unfortunate news was that the vet had not seen anything like this before and would like to send some of the collected cells away; we'd know a bit more in a week.

And if any of you have ever seen a cat waking up from anesthesia, it's quite possibly the most sad and pathetic thing I've ever encountered. You can tell that he doesn't know what's going on, why his legs aren't working properly, why he can't avoid running into anything within four feet of the direction he would like to go. And he would just lay there with his eyes wide open, head down to the side, and just lay. I had to check a few times to make sure he was still breathing.

Anyways, this long tirade ends with this: Linus has a lump. It's origin is unknown, it's mostly squamous cells, they cannot tell if it will invade the bone in his head and jaw, but it is unlikely to metastasize. The vet assumes it has come from a salivary gland, and when I asked him what he would do if Linus were his cat, he sighed, said he hated when people asked this, and said we wouldn't operate on it. Linus is old in cat years, not elderly, but old. He may not recover, the vet might not be able to get all of it, and right now he has pretty good life satisfaction.

But now I feel a little like we are in kitty hospice, looking for signs that he might not be doing well. Is he going off by himself because he knows it's time, or just because he wants to look out the window. (The vet said that we all will probably reach the point when we will just sit and look out the window, that this isn't necessarily a bad thing...) Is he still eating, is he sleeping more than his typical 18 hours a day, does he chew his food or just swallow it, and is that because in typical Linus manner he generally wolfs his food, or is it because he has a tumor that has grown into his jaw and he can no longer use his jaw to chew?

For now, Linus sits on my lap, still loving to sit in the most irritating positions (between you and the keyboard, on top of what ever book you are reading, on top of whatever project you are working on, especially bad when beading, etc.) so that you are ensured to pet him, and we type this little story, he and I, about the life still to be lived, just one with a few more golf ball-sized lumps along the way.

The holidays approacheth...

Good grief, what happened to the fall. And the beginning of November for that matter. About a week and a half until Thanksgiving, and only about a month and a half 'til Christmas. With Mike and I working not holiday-friendly jobs (retail and hospital), spending time with family is looking a little different this year. Not to mention that our siblings are all over the country and the world. Literally, Hawaii, Oregon, Virginia, one here in MN, and South Korea. I wonder, if we hopped our own private jet, flew directly to each of these places, spent at least an hour at each place, how long would that take us?

Thanksgiving we are scheduled to be with Mike's parents, which is nice in that they are in town, or at least within an hour of us. Mike and I both work, hospitals I guess really do need to be open all the time, jeez, in case of, I don't know, a life or death kind of situation ;) And retail, and the whole black Friday thing, just isn't pretty. So it sounds like we might be having a slightly less traditional Thanksgiving meal on Friday or Saturday, but again, it's nice that they are so close so we can do a good few bits several times over the weekend. And Christmas this year is with my parents, again, kinda tricky, especially for me. Mike doesn't have to work, but man, those last minute shoppers are killers. We're actually heading to them on Christmas and to stay for a few days, then be back in time for Mike and I both to work New Year's. Kinda cool again, though; because they are so close, we'll probably be able to do some of Mike's family's Christmas too.

I'm sure some day, whenever we start to have kids of our own, the holidays will start to look pretty different. We may even have to start hosting our own holiday celebrations. In the meantime, it is still really great to continue on in our families' traditions, even when they do start to evolve as we do into adults.

I'm going to try and remember these happy thoughts as the holidays get closer, and the shoppers get crabbier. For those of you who have never worked in retail around the holidays, and even for those of us who have and do, please remember that the people trying desperately to help you find that perfect gift are overworked, underpaid, and generally harassed more in these two months than most of us are in a year. And give them a small break...

One last time for the season...

I love fall, have I told you that? And I guess I'm still stuck on the whole apple picking thing 'cuz we went again. Or at least I went again with Mike and two Gap-ies, Natalie and Brit. I mean look at these beauties, and I don't just mean me and the girls ;) Yummy!! We're late in the season, so we were only able to pick Regents and Haralsons, but still de-lish! I'm still shocked at how many people haven't ever been apple picking before, I mean seriously, this is one of the ultimate fall-time activities! And if you have kids, it's a must! Here are some cute picks...

Grandma Bev Peterson...

I hate that I don't have a digitalized picture of Mike's grandma to post with this entry, I've always just had them printed. Mike's mom's mom died three weeks ago yesterday. She had been not as well, health-wise, as she has been in the past, though the warmth of her eyes and smile never faded. Her services were two weeks ago, a time of gathering of family from California, Iowa, Wisconsin, and all over the Twin Cities.

The funeral itself was sad, yes, but such a celebration of her life. It was held at the church she had attended for many years, the church Mike and I were married in, and her pastor knew and loved Grandma Peterson and spoke so well of her. Many of the grandkids were involved in the service.

At one point in the service, time was given to family members who shared memories of time spent with Grandma Peterson. As most of you know, I can't speak in public to begin with, let alone during such an emotional time, being the emotional sap that I am, but if I could have, or better yet now that I can, this is what I would share: in 1997, when Mike and I had not even been dating a year, we somehow managed to get in on each other's family Christmases. In the Schroeder household, they celebrate with the Petersons on Christmas Eve and the Schroeders on Christmas Day. I had met all the extended family at this point, probably on more than one occasion, in that they all lived so near. I sat sort of awkwardly by during the gift exchanging, not known well enough yet, not having spent enough time to really have proved myself as a girlfriend. All of a sudden a small box was passed my way. "To Megan, from Grandma Peterson" written on the tag. Inside was a small frame with a cherub on it. I looked up to find Mike's grandma, probably tried to catch her eye, smiled politely or embarrassed, and I think I did hug her at least once. Mike later shared with me that his Grandma did not have a tremendous amount of money to be spending, she did not give lavish gifts, and the gifts she did give were frugle and small. He too had been surprised that she would have given me, just the recent girlfriend, a gift that first Christmas.

But that was so Grandma Peterson. She accepted you unassumingly and graciously. She made you feel welcome, even if it wasn't assured that you would be there in a few months. She was a truly godly woman, loving everyone that came into her path with such gentle persistence. Even when it might not have been yet appropriate, she gave me a gift. I might be so bratty as to say that maybe she knew something about me and Mike that even we didn't know at that time, but that would be stretching. I think she just knew how to love, how to welcome, how to make everyone feel like part of that family in the most appropriate way. I will always be so grateful, so thankful for Grandma Peterson because she was the first of Mike's extremely loving and generous family to make me feel like one of the crew. This is just one of so many great memories that Mike and I will take with us when we think of Grandma Peterson, and maybe I choose to share this one because it's my first poignant one with her. That small frame, such an unassuming gift, will always be special to me.

We'll miss you, Grandma Peterson, but we'll see you soon...

Quintessential autumnal outing...

A couple of weekends ago, friends Alex and Sarah agreed to humor me and accompanied me to a local apple orchard for some fall festivities. Neither Alex, nor Sarah had ever been apple picking before, and I can't believe that their parents would deprive them of such a classic childhood memory; knowing all four of their loving parents, I can't believe this omission was intentional, but still they are without excuse (just kidding Kim, Mike, Martha and Tom).

That Saturday was one of those gorgeous, indian summer days, a breeze blowing, but unseasonally warm. We headed off to Hastings, paid our $2 to get into the orchard, never had to pay to get in before, but that did include unlimited access to the tractor/hay ride shuttle that circled, so I think it was worth it, and meandered thru one of the larger orchards I've encountered.

This outing always brings back vivid memories from childhood. Apple picking in NY before the days of genetically altered trees that only grow to the size of large bushes to eliminate the need, and thus lessen the fun and excitement, to climb trees or use those metal-fingered pickers on the end of a huge pole. The Great Apple Gathering just before Kate and James' wedding when we picked more apples than I've ever seen to fill their table centerpieces with juicy bounty, drank our first cider slushies ( sounds kinda gross, but actually quite tasty), and had apple fights (okay, okay, totally started that one, but really when you lob them, how much do they hurt? And don't you remember that Chip and Dale cartoon: "apple core, who's your friend...?") Grandma Weezie's apple tree behind her house on Lorraine, that she jealously and sometimes callously protects from the Bambi's that venture into her yard? Emma Krumbie's with Mom and Dad, Kate and I think Heather, and Uncle Hans and Ben? Might have been one of the last times I've seen Ben; Ben, where are you?

When Sarah, Alex, and I had picked our two bags worth, maybe even a few forbidden fruit off of some trees that were marked "no picking" on one end of a row, but we were on the other end, and how were we supposed to know we weren't supposed to pick them? We sat waiting for our hay covered limousine near the electric-fence boundary of the orchard and listened to a family banter. Mom, dad, son, and at least one daughter. The son has having a conversation with I think his sister, that went something like this: "Know what would be the best gift ever, maybe even for all of my birthdays and Christmases to come? If you would go and hold on to that fence for 20 seconds. That would be the best gift ever, that would be glorious!" The kid actually said that, almost verbatim, definitely including the word "glorious." And he was about 6 years old... Magical moment, for sure.

We finished our outing back at my apartment where we baked apple pies with our booty. One went to the U with Alex, where he finished most of it one afternoon after a long day of rugby, one went to the University of Wisconsin at River Falls with Sarah, one went with Kristin to the University of Wisconsin Eau Claire, and the last went to Gap. I'm definitely partial to my Grandma Sue's sour cream apple pie recipe, but I think the sour cream scares most people off. Too bad, more pie for me.

I'm so proud of my Daddy!!!

Most of you know my dad, but let me expound just a bit, especially since I have special reason to brag on him this week. My dad is everything a daughter hopes for, sweet and quirky, a little nerdy in the most endearing way, way too devoted to all five of us (mom and sisters), born to be a grandpa (willing to do the goofiest things to make my nephew laugh, esp. in public), intelligent as the day is long, the ultimate boy scout (eagle scout actually, always prepared, a bit of a type-A, etc.), loves romantic comedies, even the sappy ones and almost anything with a happy ending, and willing to go to extreme measures and distances to see any of us, even for extremely short periods of time (he figures since he'll be in China for work, he might as well swing thru South Korea on his way home?!?).

My dad works as a biomedical engineer: he invents new things and fixes and improves old things for doctors and hospitals. His specialty is endotracheal tubes, or the things they shove down your throat when they need to gas you during an operation. And he's great in his field, among the best even. I guess in those circles, people know his name across the country, and even around the world.

He holds a couple of patents for previous work, and is most recently working on a new device called a laryngial (sp?) mask airway. As surgeries have become less and less invasive with the development of lasers and the like, the most traumatizing part of the surgery is often intubating the patient. This new device is made to lessen this; instead of going all the way down your trachea, it sits in the larynx, two inflatable cushions block the esophagus and the top of the larynx, and the anesthesia is giving through openings along the side of the device! Much less invasive for the patient, and pretty amazing stuff!!

Anyways, I get to brag on him today because tomorrow he will be giving a presentation at a national airway conference in Houston. When he was asked to do this, they informed him that he would be following the guy in the anesthesia world today, but that he, Tom McGrail, is the only person ever asked to speak that hasn't been an MD. That he is not only top in his field as an engineer, but in this whole area of medicine.

When I met up with them in Madison this past weekend, Dad ran thru his talk with us, and he was great! I love to hear about his work; yes, in working in medicine in the past, I do have an informed interest in this area in general, but especially knowing that my dad had something to do with these crazy cool devices gives my goosebumps. Way to go, Dad; I'm so proud of you because of what you do, but I love you even more for who you are!!

Video...?!?

Okay, going to try and post a video. If this works, this will be a little clip of Finn and Dad playing basketball. Notice how Grumpa Tom Tom selflessly shares the basketball so well with his infant grandson... ;)

Catching my breath...

Hey gang, thanks for hanging in there even when I haven't been a very good host these past weeks, even *gasp* months!! Let me spend a short entry catching you up on the last part of Mike and I's summer and I'll spend some more time on each if and when I can. The second weekend in August we traveled back up to Duluth with sister Heather to make pretty flowers for and attend the wedding of Karin Janson of the incredible Janson family. The Jansons, Sue, Loren, Marja, Karin, and Elsa, were our roommates early last summer after we sold our house and before we left the country. Karin was and is beautiful, and we got to stay with and see great friends, Kim, Sarah, Mike, and Steve Knuth, Kayla, Derek, and Conner Whitaker, Roxy Kurtz, Amanda Lufholm, Alex Primozich and so many others. And let's face it, I just love weddings, I love the gorgeous people, I love to play with pretty flowers, and it's so great to see happy people in love!

So the wedding was Friday night. After the reception, we drove back to St. Paul, stayed the night, got up early the next morning and headed to Iowa for an open house for my cousin Zach and his now wife (they were married in PA the following weekend, but we couldn't make it), and spend the day and evening with lots of my mom's side of the family. They are all so much fun, so easy to be around, and we love Ariel, our new cousin-in-law. After they were married, Ariel and Zach headed back to Okinawa where they are stationed in the Marines.

For our 5th anniversary (five years, can you believe it?!?), Mike and I went out for sushi and sashimi (sp?) as this great little Japanese restaurant right across from Nicolette Island in Minneapolis. We both figured out that we enjoy that so much more than we ever thought we would; kinda fun to still be finding out new things about each other! Here we are after a very large dinner and some sake (yummy) overlooking the Mississippi River across from downtown.

Somewhere in and amongst all of this, we worked and slept, and spent some time together, though not a whole lot. Funny how you always think there's more time during summer vacation, but it always slips by so sneaky-like, even as adults!

The third weekend in August, we took a few extra days and made our way south and west to the Great Salt Lake and Salt Lake City, Utah where we stayed with our friends Amy and Jim Patrick. Amy lived with Mike and I shortly before she got married, and we almost made her freak out that lovely bridal morning, showing up with her flowers as she was supposed to be walking down the aisle! Fortunately, she is not high-strung (hee hee), she was not a bridezilla, remained ever so cool, calm, and collected, and even forgave me before we got there! In Utah we hiked, ate yummy food, maybe got a little tipsy at a not-shady bar just down the road, played a new card game favorite called 500, gave delicious backrubs (at least Amy and I did for each other), loved on their sweet chocolate lab named Duke, and just enjoyed sweet friendship. Our husbands even get along quite well, always a bonus! And if you've never been to Salt Lake, give it a try, it's gorgeous all the time and the hospitality, at least at the Patrick's, is better! Here's Amy and Duke sharing the wonders of the "green tumor" aka the tennis ball, aka a lab's best friend!

While we were at the Patrick's, we had to say goodbye to my sister Heather as she was departing for South Korea that Monday for a year of teaching English. I couldn't be more proud of her, and a bit envious I must admit, for taking this giant leap into the unknown. More to come on that a little later in another blog, and in the meantime, check out her blog at the top of our list on the right...

And we ended the summer in Madison, WI where we met up with my parents and Kate and Finn. James as gone to Portland, OR where they are in the process of moving to, and Kate and Finn will join him early next week after flying to Texas to see my grandparents. I will really miss being able to see so much of my family in one trip. We are now spread quite thin across the globe, Mom and Dad in Indy, Mike and I in MN, Kate, James and Finn in OR, Mandy and Scott in Hawaii, and Heather in South Korea. Boo. Here's Grumpa Tom Tom and Finn in the pool at the hotel; Finn loves baths, but the pool kinda freaks him out.

But a smashing success to a typically McGrail summer in the traveling sense. I'm so lucky I married a man willing to drive, and even more importantly, to roadtrip! Although with so many busy days and weeks, long hours at work and school, long drives are some of our best times together, talking, listening, laughing, just being. And now back to the grind...

Bridges are falling...

I'm sure most if not all of you heard of the tragedy that quite literally befell the Twin Cities last week; the highway 35W bridge going into the heart of Minneapolis completely collapsed during the tailend of rush-hour traffic. So far, four people were killed, but recovery efforts had to be delayed as debris in the river below is quite hazardous in rushing currents.

Of course blame is being passed, fingers are being pointed, and responsibility is being avoided, the bridge was in better shape than so many others in the state and across the nation, it was considered in disrepair, was up for inspection later this month, etc. And yes, part of me wants to, like my Pastor yesterday, encourage people to "seize the day," to be grateful for every moment. I sit back though, and think how crazy that this happened on one of my bridges. I crossed that bridge just five days earlier; for a while, that was my regular route to work, only when construction started to hinder my progress did I start using another. I've been traveling across that bridge since I could drive.

But I think that very reason is why this event, in the grand scheme of things considered small in terms of fatalities and injuries, is so huge: that could be any bridge in any city. Yes, the Minnesota winters are harsh and hard on roadways. Yes, that was an older bridge. Yes, that was a different design with no actual supports along the central part of the bridge. But it still fell when it wasn't even on the docket to be redone. It fell when there were less cars on it than normal because construction has shut down a lane in each direction. It fell during clear weather, no storm damage, so abnormal currents in the river washing away the banks where it gathered its support.

Be thinking of the people who were involved in this crazy happenstance; it wasn't anyone I knew, but you never know what tomorrow brings. And I don't mean that in any morbid sense, just realistically.

GK Chesterton tidbit...

One of my favorite books, ironically in that I am an avid reader of any novel, is a non-fiction piece by Philip Yancey, also mildly ironic in that so often recently I tire of the typical Christian with some new insight into a faith so old. Now I sound cynical, but hear me out. This book is called "Soul Survivor: how my faith survived the church" or something very similar to that. It's come out in a couple of editions with slightly different names, but this is about right. This book was first introduced to me by a dear friend and mentor that I have now unfortunately fallen out of touch with but will forever be indebted to, Gaye Haralu. And as many times as I've bought this book, I've given it away, so I don't even think I own it currently.

In this book, Yancey spends one chapter each (except one chapter where he smooshes Tolstoy and Dostoyevski into one) explaining why 13 historical people have saved his faith from the church. At more than one time in the near or not so near distant past, I've struggled with the inconsistencies, even hypocrisies of the fellowship of people we call the church, and I love how real Yancey is as he talks about each of these people.

In the second chapter I believe, he gives great credit to GK Chesterton. Chesterton was a contemporary of CS Lewis', and was mostly known for his essays and articles as he mostly worked for newspapers. Look into him, he's great. Yancey quotes him thus: "The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found difficult and left untried. The real question is not 'why is Christianity so bad when it claims to be so good?' but rather 'why are all human things so bad when they claim to be so good?'"

he also says... "God, who is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, 'Do it again' to the sun; and every evening, 'Do it again' to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we."

and... "Even mere existance, reduced to its most primary limits, was extraordinary enough to be exciting. Anything was magnificent as compared with nothing."

and one of my favorites... (quoting first Yancy, then Chesterton) "When the London Times asked a number of writers for essays on the topic 'What's wrong with the world?' Chesterton sent in the reply shortest and most to the point:
Dear Sirs:
I am.
Sincerely Yours,
GK Chesterton"

This is what I pondered again today, what about you?

Gap Heroes...

As most of you know, I spend way too much time at the mall these days. Especially funny to me because even as teenager, the mall was not where I spent my time, in fact I generally avoided it. Retail can be tough, especially in a highly affluent area with people so full of their own entitlement and personal wealth. But I've discovered a few unsung heroes at the Gap, and though I know that none of them read this blog, in fact I'm pretty sure they are completely unaware of its existence, I'd like to introduce you to a few unlikely friends.

A few weeks ago, we organized a little picnic gathering to hang out unhindered outside of work, and though I was initially a little disappointed because not so many people showed, as I've thought about it, almost all the people I would have wanted to be there, were there.

Here are Josh and Natalie. Josh doesn't actually work there anymore, but he's just great; he has an uncanny initially grasp on who he will inevitably like and not like, his prejudgements of people are spot on. And he's a riot, always expect to have a good time when he's around, even when it's not always fun. And Natalie, though not very much like me, is so much like me. She tends a little to the liberal side, while I tend towards conservative, she's very right brained, while I am very left, and yet she and I seem to agree on so much. She's just finished her masters in education and invited me on a couple of occasions to help chaperone her class; she figured out all on her own my passion for students and challenges me to pursue that. We love to grab a bite to eat together because we want to share and try everything alike, and though not the same, we share a desire for the spiritual and thus have had several engaging discussions on the subject. She's my "deep" friend who cares about all the things I know nothing about; we seem to compliment each other well.

Polly and Ben. Polly is one of our managers, who started with Gap after managing elsewhere right about the same time as I started at this Gap. You can't tell from this picture, but we look a bit alike, red hair, fair skinned, and we are often confused. I take this as a great compliment. Polly is a terrific manager. She knows how to treat her employees well, but stands firm for the company. I hope that if and when I become a manager, that I'm like Polly. I also hope that we will continue to be not just colleagues, but friends; I respect her lots, but also just like her as a person. And Ben, look at that grin: really that says it all. Ben is super compassionate with such a cool flair. He's the guy you hope your sister ends up with; he's fun, funny, light-hearted, but way deeper if you choose to look. I'm always comfortable with Ben, I know I can be honest with him and that he does really care.

Mary and Marcia are the two in red. Mary is wonderfully humble. She works about twelve jobs, but always comes in with the best attitude. She loves to do the one job everybody else hates, man the fitting rooms, and she's great there. She also notices the little stuff; I sort of planned this picnic, mostly because I wanted to, but also to try and bring our team together, build some employee morale that might have been lacking. Mary noticed that and even brought me a little thank-you in recognition; those of you who know my love-languages know what that meant. Yet she waited until it was just us, not making a big show, just humbly letting me know that she noticed. I want to be like that. And Marcia, she's our other full-timer; she's worked for Gap for almost ten years, but you'd never know it. Most people who work in retail for that period of time are jaded and cynical; not Marcia. She is one of the most genuinely sweet people I've ever met. Even when she's not feeling it, she'll make you feel like a million bucks. She's a sincere faith-filled person, and as that type usually does, she shines in some way I can't quite describe.

Eric, "E" (sorry Svoboda, hard to stop once you got me started!) is here on the right; his girlfriend is sitting next to him, and who knows what he's doing, but this is a typical E expression. Eric is the gangsta bad boy of the store, who somehow found himself in a supervisor position. He's always good for a laugh, and though he makes fun of us most of the time, you know he'd be there to have your back if you needed him. He's one of my most loyal volunteers in my efforts to make them "socially aware" and he likes to use the fact that he volunteers as a pick-up line.

In the middle is Jesse; he loves this picture because he thinks this makes him look really cool as he looks off to the side while macking on two of his bosses. Which is pretty ironic: Jesse can play the bad boy too, but he's such a good guy at heart, it's hard to believe his act. Jesse is like the little brother I never had; I'm probably not cool enough so that he might think that was a compliment, but it is. He's the guy that I would have loved to have follow me thru high school and been so proud that he was my brother. Jesse really cares about people, sincerely, which sometimes is a rare and vulnerable trait for a guy. His other job is at as a valet at one of the swanky restaurants in Minneapolis, and he recently got to park KG's car; he was stunned and smiley after meeting this childhood idol.

And last, but certainly not least, here' me with Becky. Becky is the boss that everyone loves. She works too hard, she's amazing at her job, even when she's a little crabby (she has to work some really early mornings and long days), she never complains or takes it out on anyone. She gives and gives, and sometimes I worry she doesn't get enough back. She's the type that would give you the shirt off her back and apologize that it wasn't clean. I want to be as humble and selfless as Becky...

So that's some of the crew that I spend the vast majority of my week with. Thanks, fellow Gappers, for putting up with me, especially in all my recent moods.

Just like high school...

So I kinda had a special day about a week ago, and my dear, sweet husband planned quite the celebration for me, spanning over about 36 hours. It's fun being back in the area where we initially met because we revisit some same locations a decade later. That's a little surreal, thinking that we've been together for over 10 years now, but really fun to revisit some great times.

Last Monday night, Mike took me to the Melting Pot in downtown Minneapolis. This is actually a fairly new addition to the Twin Cities; Mike and I originally discovered this fondue restaurant in Chicago while in college. In fact, we went there the night after we got engaged and had to turn down the champagne they offered us because I was still on the Pledge at Wheaton. I'm a sucker for sentimentality, what can I say? But really, what's better than totally gorging yourself with deliciously fresh food, literally cooked right in front of you, with all kinds of wonderful flavors, and ending with everything dipped in chocolate? And you all know how I feel about chocolate! The dinner event inevitably lasts 2-3 hours too, so it's great to eat, talk, laugh, and just spend time together; school, three jobs between the two of us, and various travels recently have not left us a whole lot of time for just us, so it's great just to reconnect.

Tuesday, we slept in, another marvelous rarity, and then we packed the camelback, donned our swim suits and lots of sunscreen (at least I did), and headed to one of Mike's early job sites: Valleyfair. For those of you not as familiar with this area of the country, it's an pretty good sized amusement park, not quite a Six Flags, but the largest in this part of the midwest. He hasn't been there since high school, and I've only been back as a chaperone with various youth group events. It's fun to be a kid again, get on whatever ride we want, skip the ones we're not interested in, go back to the good ones again, with no schedule or agenda. Here we are on the Scrambler, I think only rated a 3 on VF's 1-5 scale for thrill-seekers. And let me tell you a little secret, Tuesdays in the early summer are the best days; there are no lines, everything is open, and it's hot enough to get a kick out of at least a few of the water rides. One funny encounter worthy of note: we found this little guy directly under the Wild Thing; fluffy bunnies and rated 5 roller coaster seems and ironic match in such close proximity.

And when we had triumphed over the Power Tower, Wild Thing, and Steel Venom three times over, when we ate molten cheese in a corn-dog shell on a stick and funnel cake to our hearts content, we decided we had enough and left. Perfect timing, not a moment wasted. And we decided that it was time to eat again.

This time we headed to another venue familiar in days past, Dangerfields in Shakopee. I'm sure locals know all about this one, but it's not necessarily a first to be recommended to visitors, which is too bad, especially in these summer months. Dangerfields offers consistently amazing food, good value, great selection, and a beautiful, completely screened in deck overlooking the river. Most people see deer, especially at twilight, but while we sat there, a whole family of raccoons appeared just feet away in the treetops. I guess they are practically tame and interested only in the food that might fall from the deck, but occasionally they do cause a little mischief, as only these little masked marauders can. We ate, drank, talked, and enjoyed the company of our furry friends. And of course, because Mike plans everything perfectly, the day ended with a gorgeous sunset as we headed home.

I love that my birthday is in the summer, you can do so much, so many things are happening, it's such a celebratory time. It seems I've shared this time with so many happy occasions, weddings, Father's Day, graduations. But I'm not going to lie, sometimes it's nice for it to be all about me for just a day, and Mike knows just how to do that; thanks honey!

Finny turned 1!

Kate (my younger sister), James (her husband), and Finn (my only nephew so far) came to visit this past weekend, just after Finn turned one on May 31! Crazy how much happens and how much he grows in a year! We had a blast picnicing at Lake Calhoun in Minneapolis, bashing around the Farmer's Market after church, BBQing with the Schroeders on Sunday, playing pinochle (sorry dad!), watching movies, hitting Uptown for Ragstock, Heartbreakers, and used book stores, and sharing Finn's first birthday cake.

Finn is laughing, responding to the people around him, especially mom and dad, and even Aunt Meg and Uncle Mike a bit. In this picture, Finn is cracking up as Mike is pulling his cheeks away from his teeth, making this kind of sucking noise.

We had birthday cake Sunday evening with Schroeders after our little BBQ that got rained out. We spread a beach towel on the floor of the apartment and just let Finn go to town. At first he just stuck his fingers in the icing, then he started grabbing the cake and smooshing it around, then he grabbed the cake and flung it to his left and right and front 'n center, then he finally found that the cake itself tasted pretty good as well and proceeded to shovel it away, getting quite the sugar rush while he was at it!

For his birthday, Mike and I got him a little outfit from the Gap, of course, including this Product (Red) onesie. The Gap, along with a few other brand names have started a program in which they dedicate certain products to this Product (Red) campaign; 50% of the proceeds of these specified items goes to help stop AIDS in Africa thru the Global Fund. Gap has found fun ways to incorporate the whole (Red) symbol into some cute shirts, etc. Finny got one that says "Delivered," as you can see. He's sporting his global awareness at a young age. Here he's just woken up, and Kate is shoveling in the apple sauce. She says he's grown nine inches this year! Can you imagine how much energy and thus food it takes to grow nine inches! Thanks for driving all the way to MN to celebrate with us, Rohls; we look forward to many more reasons to eat cake!

As promised, family pics...

I never thought I would be part of such a stunning family. Don't get me wrong, we McGrails are cute, pretty even, but the Schroeders are gorgeous. They've got the height, the bodies, the beautiful skin and hair; it's a little high-pressure sometimes to try not to wreck their pictures, but Mike and I do okay.
From left to right, Jason and Kristi Kastrounis, Steph and Larry, Karen, and Mike and I... You can actually see the complex of apartment-like villas we stayed at in the background.

Love this picture of Larry, Karen, and Steph. We were setting up for the big family shot, but I couldn't resist this one.
Me and the girls. Kristi and Karen highlighted my hair while we were there. We seem to be making this a tradition: we did this last time we were all in Arizona, and I loved it, so I conned them into doing it again for me!
Kristi and Jason, love this shot too. Kristi's favorite color is yellow, and Karen picked this spot by the waterfall, classic!
The matriarch and patriarch of our little clan, not looking a day past 30, either of them; Mike's got some great genes to pass along to our kids!
And I don't usually post pics of both Mike and I, I'm usually behind the camera, but this one did turn out pretty good (thanks Steph!)

Bahama Mamas and Papas...

We are officially the most spoiled people on earth! Mike's parents have just treated us and the rest of their immediate family to a beautiful vacation to Paradise Island in the Bahamas! I've never seen anything like this place; they've taken us to some pretty amazing locations, but I think this one takes the cake. The entirity of Paradise Island is one huge resort, most of it is part of Atlantis, just off the coast of Nassau. You can find and do just about everything you could imagine without leaving the island, though we did leave and spend some time in Nassau as well. You can swim, do water slides, eat in a dozen different places, lay by the pool, go to movies, paint pottery, rent scooters, shop, snorkel, boat, and so many otther things, and we did almost all of it!

The weather was incredible the vast majority of the trip, with only one truly cloudy/rainy day, which gave us just the right opportunity to release some creative juices on some pottery and see a movie. The rest of the week we snorkeled, scootered, swam in a ridiculous amount of different pools around the resort, played cards, "passed the pigs" (ask Kristi and Jason about their new favorite game), swooshed down water slides, ate delicious cuisine, and laughed together. Such a great time of hanging out with family, getting a little (or a lot) of sun, and just spending time being one big family!

Mike's parents, Larry and Stephanie, flew down a week early to scope the place out, make sure it was appropriate accomodations, and to get an early start on their tans. The rest of us, Mike's middle sister Karen who's out in Chaska these days, youngest sister Kristi and her husband Jason who are hailing from Virginia Beach, and Mike and I, flew in last Saturday and stayed for a whole week! Enough talking, want to see some pics? Come on Kayla, I know you only check for pictures these days ;) !
Jason, Kristi, Karen, and Larry enjoying a mid-afternoon ice cream break; check out that water behind us! Can you believe the color!?


Here's us on scooter day: me showing off my road wounds (tell you about that in a second), and Jason, Karen, me, Mike, and Kristi loving our day out. We rented three scooters on Wednesday, toured around Paradise Island for a bit, and then went across the bridge and hit a couple of local spots in and around Nassau. Originally we thought we'd start out with Jason and Kristi on one, Mike and I on another, and Karen on the third. Karen had a little bit of a hard time, tipped over on a round-about, so I thought I might give it a whirl. Did pretty good until we had to make a right-hand turn out of Arawak Cay (they drive on the left side of the road), mixed up the brake and acceleration, made it out of traffic, but jumped a curb and apparently flew off the scooter. Scrapped up my shoulder and elbow, have a mother of a bruise on my leg, but other than that, amazingly, I was perfectly fine, not even shook up or anything, thank God. Showed off my road burns, got back on, and we continued on our way. I still can't quite believe it, in all my years of riding horses and driving, haven't been in anything major that was my fault until I rented a little scooter in the Bahamas! Maybe I'll at least get a good scar out of the deal, but not likely! It's healing pretty good.

We ate out a a few different, delicious places. Here's Karen and Steph while we were out at a local joint called the Poop deck, very yummy, and great view; our table overlooked the marina between Paradise Island and Nassau, and we ate right at sunset! Beautiful!








One of the other really amazing things about this place in that everywhere you went, there were gardens and pools full of gorgeous flowers, plants, and aquatic life! It was like living in a botanical garden and full marine aquarium! Everything from plumeria and hibiscus to sharks, starfish, and a huge 10-foot manta ray! Here we are at the nurse shark pool, standing on the bridge looking down at 5 or 6 of them, and here's a baby hammerhead! Don't worry Heather, took tons of pictures for you of all the sharks, even got a couple of cool little video clips; if I ever figure out how to load videos, I'll post one!

I think I'll pause for now. We also spent one night taking some family pictures, so when I get those developed, I'll post a few more! Thanks Larry and Steph for such an amazing trip!!