I'm doubting...

So I know it seems like we talk about our silly cats often.  I guess, especially for me, I don't have much of anything particularly interesting to say:  work is work, strenuous, annoying, challenging, but work nonetheless; Mike and I are pretty much the same as we have been for ten years, living day to day, he's still in school (he's really stuck in the ten-years-ago-thing :), no major changes, moves, etc.; our apartment is small and fairly nondescript; no kids yet or on the way; so that leaves our cats...

As we've mentioned in the past, our pleasantly plump applehead siamese, Linus, is getting on in years, and has recently developed a mass on the side of his head.  We took him in a couple of weeks ago as he was slowing significantly, and the vet drained some fluid, gave the poor guy an enema, put him on some antibiotics and bowel lossener, and said his blood work all looked good, and Linus might even feel lots better after we cleared out his GI track. 

Linus felt worse.  He fought, literally, tooth and nail taking his meds, stopped cleaning himself very well, started scratching fur off the side of his head around his mass and thus leaves little spots of blood everywhere, and started getting all boney and old-looking.  Mike and I made the very difficult decision to have him put down.  We made the appointment for this afternoon.  I had to work for a few hours this morning, but now I'm home, planned on soothing and lovin' on Linus for a few hours before loading him into the car to go and get Mike from school and then on to the vets.  

And of course, Linus is more personable today than he has been in weeks.  Presently he's sitting on my legs, purring away.  Does he know?  I know he doesn't...  I've barely seen him awake over the past few days, let alone snuggling and purring.  Have we made the right decision?  What if he's fine, and we're being selfish, not wanting to force feed him pills, clean up after him, etc.?  How do you make a decision like this?  I know this is nothing like with people, but so hard all the same.  In all our years of having pets as a kid, Mom and Dad made these decisions, they were the adults, the parents, they took care of these things.  But now I am responsible for ending a life, all be it feline.  I know this sounds terrible, but I almost wish Linus would've just died so that the responsibility of such a decision was lifted.

So I'm doubting.  And I'm sad...  I'm sure we'll be fine, just what I'm thinking, right now.

Grandma Weezie...

Just before Christmas, I drove down to Sioux City, IA, to where my dad originated to hang with my grandma.  Her given name is Louise, but ever since my oldest sister was an infant, Grandma Louise decided that "Louise" might be too difficult to say, so she decided to start little Mandy with "Weezie."

Anyways, Grandma Weezie and I hung out for about 36 hours, talked about family and politics, what I'm doing, Mike's doing, her garden, anything that came to mind.  It was nice to have no agenda, just to be with one person who will

 always be on my side, who likes for me just to

 come and visit, to be.  We visited the Floyd Museum, in commemoration of the only person to die on the Lewis and Clark expedition.  We made fudge, with a secret ingredient :)  

Just a short visit, but a great one.  

Thanks, Grandma Weezie, for being such a nice oasis for me!

Random updates...

Merry Belated Christmas and Happy New Years to all you that I know and love!!  Hope you all had a great one.  Ours was fabulous, one of the best I've had I think.  I missed my HI, OR, VA, and Korea sisters, but with the family I did see, we had a great time.  Loads of fun with the Schroeder/Peterson clan Christmas Eve and Christmas morning, then off to Chicago and IN with the 'rents.  So nice of them to let us sleep late, eat all their food, love on the kitties (no worries Heather, they're spoiled rotten), and play all of Mike's favorite games.  Mom and I indulged in facials, never had one before, and I'm not going to lie, I was a little apprehensive, but yes, I will definitely do that again.  A little tip for those of you who have not experienced such a thing, go find yourself a school that trains people to do such things, ie an Aveda Institute nearby; great service at fraction of cost!

Then Mom, Dad, Mike and I headed up to Chicago.  Ushered at, and therefore saw for free :) Blue Man Group, which is just as great the third time as it was the first!  Then Mom and I bashed around Chicago Saturday afternoon, shopping of course!  That night we went to see "Wicked," and if any of you get the chance, go see it!!  It was fun, funny, great music, great story, amazing talent!!  Sunday, Mike and I were expecting to fly back to MN, but we hit a bit of a fiasco with our flight.  Any of you who fly a bit, beware of AirTran, they gave us a terribly time, pretty unreasonable.  And thus, my sweetly indignant father insisted on driving us back home to MN!!!  Fortunately my Mom is a great sport, so she came along too.  They stayed with us a couple of nights before driving the eleven hours back to Indy New Year's Day. 

I must say, we are the most spoiled kids ever.  Between our two families, we are far too blessed and are surrounded by far too many generous people; thanks to all of you for loving us so well!!  Hope your holidays have been as fabulous as ours!