As I look out my window from my home-office, the trees are bare, or almost bare. A few stubborn remnants, dried and wilted cling to the skeletons. The temps are dropping, we've had snow, with little or no accululation, some sleet stuff a couple of days ago. The seasons are changing, inside and out.
I've found some of my fall decorations, with warm oranges, deep reds, golden yellows, but they already seem outdated; fall stays only a few days, maybe a week or two in MN. One of the things that's hard about living here: the inbetween seasons are short. But it's inside me where I feel the cold.
I wrote not too long ago about a season I am going thru, this season of change. I know deep down there is the hope in the light, the warmth and the inclusion of being in the light. But today, with the gray, drab, lifeless clouds in the sky completely obliterating the sun, I feel cold and alone.
I wrote that I hit a bit of a wall last week, and over the weekend, I climbed the wall and jumped down to the other side and into follow-up work with the many contacts I've made over the past month and a half. Calling, emailing, trying to work something up, and I've had some good conversations. And today, I hit another wall. I wonder if after the more emotional one last week, I've found a spiritual one today.
Yesterday our power went out; we heard that "someone hit something" in one of the nearby neighborhoods. We still don't know if they hit an underground wire, a pole, who knows, but our power was out most of late yesterday, and it didn't come back on until about 11 last night. Definitely slows down my after-hours emailing, etc. So Mike and I ran out to his parents' hung out with his dad for a bit and dropped off a treadmill, grainmill, and a couple of kegs, empty, to Larry's great disappointment. This morning I got up, ready to hit my computer hard. The internet's working, great; get on to my Outlook where my email goes in and out of, and mysteriously, overnight, it's no longer functioning. Mike and I bicker as he gets ready to leave this weekend, and I'm desperately trying to get my work life back online, literally. My spirit is cold with disappointment and frustration.
I know the light is there, I know that winter is not all bad, but I still feel it's ominous and inevitable approach in so many different ways.
2 comments:
Those are the toughest times to go through because there isn't a tangablie need that others can address with you. It ends up being a plate of cookies or a smile from across the road that helps more then anything planned can. When facing touhg Spiritual walls it is important to ground your self in some unalienable truths: God is in control and you are not. He cares for you more then you can fathom, and this too shall pass.
Amen to James!
also Meg remember that this is not a forever situation, and things can change quickly. In fact they usually do. Hang in there love, All of us new clients are going to sign up soon !! Mom
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